Lloyd Thaxton

In Memory of Lloyd Thaxton

2010-02-27T10:19:00.000-08:00

Hello everyone:

Chuck Hinson has created a new blog to carry on where Lloyd could not. Please go there and post your comments.

http://themouseclique.blogspot.com/2010/02/notes-from-chief.html

See you there.

Barbara Thaxton

LLOYD HAS MOVED ON

2008-10-07T15:13:00.000-07:00

Hello:

My name is Barbara Thaxton, Lloyd's wife.

Lloyd passed away last Sunday morning in my arms. He has now moved on to his next creative project ... making the angels laugh.

Goodbye my beloved. I will miss you.

The world will miss you.

Your comments are welcome.

LEFT AT THE POST

2008-07-13T17:54:00.000-07:00

I realized today that I am falling behind again on my blog posts. I felt awful. Then I saw this cartoon in today's LA Times. It made me feel better. Hope it makes you laugh because it is so TRUE.

CLICK ON THE CARTOON TO MAKE IT LARGER

I hope that Stephan Pastis doesn't mind my using my blog to make his funny and clever point.
I love his sense of humor and the way he can say so much in just six frames.

Stay cool. Stay tuned.

HOW TO GET YOUR OWN NATIONAL TV SHOW

2008-07-03T16:19:00.000-07:00

CHAPTER 3

In Chapter one I told you how blown away I was by the new console radio my sister bought just as TV was coming on the horizon (Scroll down if you missed it). It had neat little push buttons on the front for tuning in radio stations. But, the most fascinating thing about it was that weird push-button labeled “TV.” The company wanted to give the impression that when TV arrived, this console could be converted. Sure fooled me. As I told you earlier, as a kid I used to sit in front of this console imagining that a screen was on the front and I could actually see singers and dancers in our own living room (lip-synchers?).

Of course the console was never converted. However, something better happened. In 1948, my sister Betty did it again. She got one of the first TV’s on the market, a Hallicrafter model 505.

The whole family went crazy. But that tiny 5-inch screen sure posed a problem, not unique in the 40s. How do mom, dad, two sisters, two brother-in -laws, three nieces and nephews and I all watch TV at the same time? Well, you see there was this magnifying bubble you could put in front of the screen and it made the picture larger. However, it also distorted the picture unless you were looking straight on to it. I wish I had pictures of all of us sitting on dining room chairs all one behind the other, a real comedy routine with heads bobbing back and forth to see over the shoulder of the person in front. With today’s huge flat screens, it almost seems impossible that we could actually enjoy watching TV at all. But we gathered every night, lined up the chairs, and had the time of our lives. My eyes were on the future. It made me even more determined to be a part of this exciting new media.

Ok, back to “How To Get Your Own National TV Show.” After my daring exploits in the U.S. Navy keeping the enemy out of the Great Lakes at Chicago, I headed for Northwestern University (1946-1950). The above picture is living proof of how hard I studied.

That’s me on the far right with my SAE fraternity brothers entertaining at a party. On my left is David Barnhizer. He was also a communications student. David and I became the party entertainment gurus. We, along with our other talented brothers, built Northwestern’s first radio station in the basement of the fraternity house. The signal reached the entire campus through, first the electrical system and, when that didn’t reach enough students, we used the central heating system as our antenna. We named it WSAE.

In those days, if a radio signal reached more than 100 feet from an antenna, you had to have a license to operate the radio station. Because the student’s radios were always closer than 100-feet to our heating system antenna, we got away with operating without a license. What fun. I did a nightly show with David Barnhizer called, “The Plumber’s Friends.” I have no remembrance of why we picked that name. Maybe it had something to do with the heating system sometimes failing us.

The best part of my relationship with David is that he has remained a best friend all of these years. He produced and directed many great shows on the Chicago NBC station and in 1965, came to Hollywood and joined me to co-produce The Lloyd Thaxton Show. It was like old times. When the LT show went off the air, David went to New York to direct The Dick Cavett Show. He is now retired and living in a beautiful 200-year old house in Connecticut and we email everyday.

I made every effort to be a part of the university’s radio, television and theater offerings. And, I looked for every other area that I could find, learn and showcase my desires.

Another source of learning one’s trade at Northwestern was the annual musical, “The WaaMu Show.” Many Hollywood stars came out of this student written show and I was thrilled when I passed my first audition to become a member of the sketch comic group. Paul Lynd was the star of the first show I appeared in, and we also became friends. He was a regular star on a game show “Funny You Should Ask,” that I hosted in the 70s.

Here is a picture of me with another campus friend, Claude Akins. It is from one of the sketches we did together on the WaaMu Show. Claude went on to Hollywood to appear in nearly 100 films and 180+ TV episodes in a career spanning over 40 years.

So, what’s the botton line here? Have loving parents? Imagine yourself on TV. Join the Navy. Go to college? Have Talent? Persistence? Luck?

Chapter 4 coming up.

Stay cool. Stay tuned.

HOW TO GET YOUR OWN NATIONAL TV SHOW

2008-06-21T11:54:00.000-07:00

Let me take a moment to apologize to my readers for my negligence of adding to my blog. I know that too much time goes by between posts and one shouldn’t promise interesting stories and than not deliver. My reason is a good one (or a bad one according to how one might look at it.)

I’ve had some health problems which I will discuss when and if it ever becomes an important topic (I’m writing a book about it). Please be aware that I’m still the guy who used to act silly in front of millions of people on TV.

And now, back to, “How to Get Your Own National TV Show.”

CHAPTER TWO

Speaking of acting silly, here I am in my very first appearance in front of an audience (that’s me in the back). It was 1944 and the stage setting was The Devilbiss Deviltries, a student musical show at my high school in Toledo, Ohio. This was the beginning of Lloyd Thaxton, the entertainer. The act was called the flying Fools and my partner was Dick Weinberg. He was my friend then and he is still my friend today. He moved to Hollywood before I did and was a big help in getting me settled in when I came to the land of dreams.

Dick Weinberg was a Network Television director and was responsible for many of the first Bob Hope Shows and The Colgate Comedy Hours starring Martin and Lewis. He introduced me to Jerry Lewis, who was also a big help in my career. Dick Weinberg still lives about a mile and a half from my home. To think that we started our careers as “The Flying Fools,” part of the act of the comedy team “Thaxton and Weinberg,” is quite amazing to me. The second most amazing thing is that I still have the above picture.

One clue I offer here for those wanting your own TV show, is that you have to discover how you want to spend your life as early as possible. I’ve always considered myself to be blessed. I discovered my goal very early, worked hard at it and for the rest of my life I went to work with a smile on my face. Work was not work. Work became my life. Only a few enjoy life through their careers, but, it is worth devoting your young life finding your niche and dedicating all your energy in that direction. Too many students in high school don’t even think about their future. The making of a loser.

On graduating from high school, I was sucked (slurp) right into the Navy. Actually, I enlisted barely hours before I would have been drafted (the war was still on but drawing to a close). Above, you see me (front row) and the choir I organized (I was making the navy work for me).

There was a famous Navy choir called “The Blue Jacket Choir.” We put together our own version of this famous group and we called it “The Blue Jack O#f Choir.” While The Blue Jacket Choir was singing patriotic inspiring songs, we were singing dirty limericks. The guys in the barracks loved it, and laughed and applauded our efforts so much, that this experience cemented my desire to be an entertainer.

My first real stroke of luck came in a package called “The GI Bill.” The greatest legislation congress ever passed. I was now entitled to four years of college on my release from the navy.

I picked Northwestern University in Evanston, Illinois. I did so because it had the best media communications school in the country. Without the GI Bill, my parents would never been able to afford such an expensive college for me. Thank you Uncle Sam. Now do the same thing for the G.I.s coming home from Iraq and Afghanistan.

I call all this luck. But remember, it was my choice. I followed up on my good fortune by carefully planning and acting on my future. I was only 19 years old.

If I seem to give the impression that I did this all alone, forgive me. I have to take a moment and say that I had the best parents anybody could ever possibly hope for. They were always totally supportive of where I wanted my life to go. They were always there to support me all through my school days. They came to all my events, joined the PTA, and devoted time to all my schools. Unfortunately, too many students or schools do not have this support and, to me, it is vital to ensure that kids not only get a good education, but that they get support from mom AND dad for their goals in life.

I got it and I will be forever thankful to my family. Without them, it would never have happened.

I’ll talk about this picture in Chapter Three (that’s me on the right). Looking back, I think this picture represents the most fun I ever had in my entire life.

Stay hip ... Stay tuned.

HOW TO GET YOUR OWN NATIONAL TV SHOW

2008-05-29T10:41:00.000-07:00

INTRODUCTION

The above picture is of ten year-old me looking into the future (circa 1937). I may look like a future don for the Toledo Mafia, but to me, my neat attire was merely a costume for some future role in TV (possibly lip-syncing a Frank Sinatra record?). One thing I did know at the time; I was meant to perform on TV. All I had to do was wait for it to be invented.

I title this effort, “How To Get Your Own National TV Show” because that is the main question I have been asked over the years from fans, students, audiences and emailers. For the next series of blogs I will outline a life driven by the sole desire (main ingredient for success) to be able to someday stand up in front of a TV camera and announce, “Welcome to The Lloyd Thaxton Show.”

In the process I also hope to dig intro some interesting history of my life (at the least, it was interesting to me). Perhaps this could even be inspirational to young people who have the same desires as to a career in show business. I did it and I can’t even sing, dance or act. I would be a joke on American Idol. But I persevered. And, I have to admit, got just a little bit lucky.

I would hope, as I write this that you give me comments along the way by asking questions about what you personally would like know. Your input, like any observer, during any performance, is invaluable.

This is the introduction and first chapter. I will keep writing until I run out of things to say, or – just run out. Hey, this could be the do-it-yourself obituary I promised to write. The filling in of that dash between the dates on a tombstone that represents a person’s whole life.

Think of it as me getting my shit together.

CHAPTER ONE

If you have been reading this blog, you already know that I grew up in Toledo, Ohio, “The Glass Capital of the World.” Toledo was the home of the Owens Corning Glass Company. At one time they even changed the name of their baseball team from “The Toledo Mud Hens” to “The Toledo Glass Sox.” I’ll tell you how bad that decision went over. As bad a name as it was, Mud Hens was preferred over Glass Sox and after a couple of seasons they went back to “The Toledo Mud Hens.”

I had two older sisters, Georgia and Betty. They were wonderful sisters, more like second and third mothers. It was through Betty that I learned that TV would soon be coming to Toledo. How did I know that? In 1940 Betty bought a brand new beautiful all wood Zenith Model 12-S-471 Console Radio.

Picture from Phils Old Radios - http://antiqueradio.org/welcome.htm

With its sleek styling and black "robot" dial, this large Zenith console typified a great design period in radio history.

But more important, this new beauty had seven buttons to set for your favorite radio stations.

AND ... IT EVEN HAD A BUTTON FOR "TV!"

That’s right. A button for watching (?) TV.

The promotion went like this, “

“Your 1945 Radio Here Now! Television Sound Connection—which means you can buy Zenith for the future with confidence. When television comes . . . you will be ready for it.”

But, where was the screen? Were they kidding us?

No, not at all. You see TV was on it’s way and this was a hedge against obsolescence.

Fearing that customers would quit buying radios while waiting for TV to arrive "any day now," manufacturers provided an audio connector in the back that would, in theory, permit you to connect a TV receiver which used your radio for audio amplification. In practice, this never happened. When TVs arrived in the late 1940s, they naturally included their own audio amplifiers. It was the "TV" button that was obsolete.

The “TV” button may have been a useless come-on, but I have to tell you, that button was magic to me. I used to sit in front of that console, push the TV button and dream. I imagined a screen on the front of this radio with singers and dancers coming right out at you. I had seen some experimental TV at the 1939 New York World’s Fair, but, this was real. A “TV” button right in my own living room.

That was when I made the decision. I had to be on TV.

It took awhile but I got there. How, will be coming up in the next chapters.

As I said in the Introduction, I need your comments along the way. Give me some stories of your first brush with television. Or what you would like to read about re: How To Get Your Own National TV Show.

Stay tuned.

MY LAST CHANCE TO MEET BARRY BONDS

2008-05-24T15:27:00.000-07:00

Seeing the picture of Barry Bonds wax body in the LA Times being removed from a San Francisco wax museum, I just had to visit my Hollywood Heads of Fame suggestion one more time. HHF was my idea of how to use the discarded heads of celebrities once they were removed from their bodies and stored on wax museum’ shelves.

Several years ago while shooting a story for a Fight Back! with David Horowitz story for NBC, our crew happened to be in front of the Hollywood Wax Museum. One of my producers went inside to ask if they still had my figure that was formerly displayed in the museum in the 60s. It seems they didn’t have the whole figure, but, like all discarded celebrities (discarded? Ugh), they had my head stored in a special room.

My HHF idea was to take all discarded heads and put them on lampposts along Hollywood Blvd. and call it the Hollywood Heads of Fame. Good idea? Well, so far no one from the Hollywood Chamber of Commerce has called.

However, how can they ignore this? Barry Bonds, baseball's all-time home-run king with 762 swats, has joined the ranks of the headless and his head is being put away forever to sit on a shelf basking in has-been celebritydom (sic); allegations of steroid use and perjury still hanging over his head.

In the 70s, I created along with Shelly Saltman, a TV sports game show called Pro-Fan. Each program featured a top sports pro as a teammate to a sports fan. Over the run of the show we had dozens of the top pros of the game. I got to know these guys and gals and I can tell you that stress is their main complaint. Trying to stay on top of the game. Some were taking pain pills or some other prescription drug for game ending pain all the time. Wouldn’t that pass as some kind of enhancement over the pros not taking any drugs at all? One thing that impressed me the most was the fact that all of the pros I met had great attitudes and loved their fans.

Then, there was Babe Ruth. His home run record was surpassed years ago but he remains the #1 icon for home run hitting. Why? Didn’t he also take a few enhanced drugs now and then? His choice might have been alcohol, but a drug none the less. His main attribute? The Babe was a jolly fellow. He always had a smile for his fans.

Alas, there belies Barry Bonds. Ever see Barry Bonds point to left field (or was it right field) and hit a homerun for the Gipper (different story?). Babe Ruth was a drinker. Barry Bonds was a doper. He was also a smart ass. He used a different finger when he pointed at right field. So, “off with his head!”

What do I think. I think we should never forget his record. He did it. Even though he had to become the incredible hulk each time he smacked a ball into bleacher heaven, he did it. You can’t just take it away by cutting off his head.

Bottom Line: I elect Barry Bonds to be part of the Lloyd Thaxton Hollywood Heads of Fame.

What do you think?

Stay tuned.

THE DO-IT-YOURSELF-OBIT

2008-05-05T16:24:00.000-07:00

Wonder what the picture above has to do with obits? Well, “stay tuned.”

I apologize for becoming such a procrastinator as far as my blog is concerned. The fault lies with deadlines. Or, more correct, the lack of deadlines. When a person works full time, deadlines are what drives us. As for me, I used to have to have a TV show ready (or not) to go at a the will of the clock on the wall. This “deadline” does not exist when you are writing a blog (You can write anytime you like, or not at all, if you like). You can let a blog just sit there and no one cancels your show. Although, it really makes for a dull clique.

The picture was taken about 30 years ago when Barbara and I were on vacation in one of the most beautiful spots in the world, Bora Bora. It was like I was on my own deserted island in the south pacific. Glorious! If you could back up a bit, you would be able to see Barbara taking the picture.

But, even then the deadline loomed. In two weeks, Barbara and I would be heading back to the real world of deadlines and our Marlon Brando experience would be a thing of the past. But I will always have this picture.

I was 50 years old and looked great. Advice: when you know you are lookin’ good, make sure someone is around to take your picture so you can not only seize the day, but hold on to the moment.

Have you noticed that deadline has the word “dead” in it? Also, it draws a line that signifies, “Stop, you have reached the end.” Time has run out.

In 2003, I wrote the book “Stuff Happens” with my dear friend, John Alston. Every now and then I take my own dog-eared copy out and review what one is expected to do when stuff happens. I first review the motto of the book? “It isn’t what happens to you that is important, it is how you respond to what happens. And, how you respond depends on how you live your life.” Words to face deadlines with.

Here’s an exercise for you:

Go to a cemetery (in the daytime please and skip the dead cat). Note that on the gravestones they have a name and a couple of dates. For example “Charles Swindoll, 1840-1932” and between those two dates there’s that tiny little dash. That dash (-) is supposed to represent Charles Swindle’s entire life. 92 years. What a put-down. That infinitesimal dash says nothing about the people he helped and nurtured. It says nothing about the children Mr. Swindoll might have raised or sired. It tells nothing about how he lived his life; the kind of person he was. Here’s the big question:

WHAT WILL YOUR DASH STAND FOR?

That brings me to the subject of this blog, “Deadlines.” Do you read the obituaries in the paper? Of course you do. Obits are interesting and sometimes very enlightening to read. What some people have accomplished in their lives is fascinating copy. Don’t you find it kind of sad when you read a tiny little obit about someone? That’s telling you that this person’s “dash” meant so little no one wrote anything down.

Don’t let this happen to you. How you ask? Easy. We call it

THE DO-IT-YOURSELF-OBIT

Yes, that’s right. You write your own obituary. NOW!

Come on. This is going to be fun. Take out a piece of paper and start right now. Gruesome? No way. This is life we’re talking about here. Not death (however there is a deadline of sorts). Start out by listing the people you love and who love you. Note the accomplishments you’ve made in your life no matter how small. Married? Raised kids? Job’s you’ve held. Charities you’ve worked on. Anything. Do you consider yourself a good person, a kind person? Write it down. If you feel your list is too short, add the things you want to accomplish in the rest of your life. Write it as if you have already done it. That’s OK. That is if you start doing it. If you want your dash to mean something, you have to start now. Then all during your life, take out your Do-It-Yourself-Obit and check how you are doing. Got the idea?

Start it now. Today. This minute. Do it whether you are young or old. What you are doing is writing about what you wish to be, and than doing it so it will become the true you. What you want your life to be, and then “living” that life. You are just filling in your “dash.” It’s in the book!

Had I done this earlier, I would have written stuff like. “Lloyd always wanted to go to Bora Bora and he did. I would have written that he (me) was asked to be a guest host on The Tonight Show, with Johnny Carson. Now, don’t laugh. That one really come true. I never was a guest host, but, I was ASKED.

Would you believe that I never saw this telegram? I found it years later in my agents file, unanswered. Am I kidding you? No. Stuff happens.

Now, writing you own obituary mean you must pick out the picture to go with it. Pick it now or someone might use your driver’s license picture, or your latest mug shot. Another exercise for you (no pun intended). Work on keeping yourself in the same shape as your picture. And work to stay as happy as you look in the picture for the rest of your life. Pictures don’t lie.

I’m just starting my own Do-It-Yourself Obit. OK, so I don’t practice what I preach. You can help me. I’m working on a very funny, but life long obit which will include a lot yet to happen in the future. I need your input.

First help me pick the picture. I will then write my obit in a future blog and just like the Wikipedia, you can make any changes you like. YOU CAN CHANGE MY FUTURE. You just might make me a better person.

Pick the picture you like and tell me why you picked it.

(1)
I like this one because, it is the most recent picture. It is from a clip of a new soon-to-be- released surfing documentary by film maker Tom Duncan.

(2)
This was taken for the back cover of Stuff Happens in 2003. I like it because it is kind of rakish. The photographer was Tama Rothchild.

(3)
This is the thumb of former Los Angeles Mayor James Hahn doing an impression of me. My favorite, but for an Obit? You be the judge.

Hey, what are blogs for?

Incidentally, there is a deadline for this.

Stay tuned

BE TRUE TO YOUR AGE

2008-04-22T18:07:00.000-07:00

I’m bahhhck! Sorry if you kept tuning in and finding the same oh, same oh, each time. Important stuff loomed and I had to take care of it. One of the things I did was read a book by Bob Green titled, Be True To Your School. The book was recommended to me by my good friend, famous TV comedy writer, producer, director and baseball announcer, Ken Levine.

Be True To Your School is an actual diary of a high school student during the entire year of 1964. I found it fascinating because that was the year The Lloyd Thaxton Show was really zapping along. The kids in this book were the same kids that were on my show and it really took me back into a wonderful time.

Bob Green lived just outside Columbus, Ohio and he mentions hearing the Beatles for the first time on the Ed Sullivan Show, listening to The Beach Boys and all the other great music groups of that year. Here is this teen-ager, way across the country from me, and he mentions watching The Lloyd Thaxton Show. Wow! Unreal! That really hit me. He was, like most of you who bother to read this blog, one of my fans. It was almost like being there, again.

It was also a reminder of how much times have changed. Oh, how your grandchildren would have loved to have lived in those times. Remember when your mother told you to go out and have fun, “but be back before the streetlights come on?” How you cruised in your car with your friends and if you got into trouble, the police told you to go home?

When I was directing segments for America’s Funniest People on ABC, I was in Detroit with a black cameraman sighting locations for a shoot. He was a teen-ager in Detroit in the 60s and he told how he lived in this great middle class neighborhood (his father worked for the Ford Motor Company). He and his friends would jump on their bikes in the morning, ride all the way into the city. They didn’t return home until just before dark (before-the-street-lights-come-on). I remember how he lamented the fact that all those middle class families were now gone. No more middle class jobs did everybody in.

It was amazing. I grew up in a white neighborhood not 40 miles away in Toledo, Ohio. It was like he was telling my story.

There was an article in the LA Times a couple of days ago that lamented the fact that the ratings for this season’s “American Idol” were dropping fast. The problem, according to the article, “children and young adults are the first to bail on a show that’s getting crow’s feet.” They mentioned how difficult it is just to keep their treasured 18 to 49 year old audience on board.

Nowhere in the article, do they mention anyone over 49. Don’t they know that you are the most loyal audience out there? When you were running things, the airplanes ran on time, you’re kids could go out alone, people had middle class jobs that put their kids through college without student loans, and … and … well, the list is too long to list here. I’m sure you can add to it.

You baby boomers were the greatest. Yet no body seems to want your advice on what is wrong with the world today. But, you can be thankful that you were there and done that. No one can take that away. You can be proud that you ran a good ship. Hopefully, the young people of the world will wake up and be true to their age, as much as you are being true to yours. You are still the greatest.

Congratulations!

Stay tuned.

HOORAY FOR HOLLYWOOD

2008-03-31T16:16:00.000-07:00

The relatives came to visit. They arrived with questions. Can we see the star’s homes? How about the Hollywood Walk of Fame? Where can we go to see the Hollywood Sign? What else can you show us?

The problem is that when you have lived in Hollywood most of your life, it is rather hard to figure out what it is people from Toledo, Ohio (my original home town) would find exciting.

For the purpose of this story, I’ll call my visitors Brynn and Carly. The fact that this is their real names is coincidental. Brynn is my sister’s son’s daughter (Great niece?) and Carly is her daughter (great great niece?)

Carly kind of set the stage (pun intended) for the day. She wanted to see the Hollywood Sign. I can understand that. The sign is Hollywood's Eifel Tower. Actually Hollywood's Eye-full Tower. And, it has a great Hollywood story.

I remember years ago when I used to ride my horse from Griffith Park right up to the sign. It was in disrepair in those days not famous at all. I used to ride up with friends and point out where Peg Entwistle plunged to her death from atop the “H.”

This was a suicide filled with ironies. According to the story, Peg was depressed because she was failing to get parts as an aspiring actor. At her lowest point, she scratched and clawed her way up the slope to the base of the sign, took off her coat and folded it neatly. She then climbed up the workman’s ladder on the back of the 50 foot “H.”

Peg then performed a perfect Swan dive into the ground. She was only 24 years old.

Editor’s note: If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?"

Editor’s second note: If a women dives from a Hollywood sign and no one is around to see it, does she really make a swan dive?

One irony here is that Peg left a note for her favorite kin, Uncle Harold (“H”) The second irony is that shortly after her death a letter arrived from the Beverly Hills Playhouse offering her a starring role in their next production. Third irony: The play was about a young girl who commits suicide.

Now that alone, put the Hollywood Sign on Brynn and Carly’s must-see list. Especially, the “H.”

Next!

Brynn and Carly were very disappointed in Hollywood Boulevard and the, “Hollywood Walk of the Stars,” Carly wanted to see real stars and all she saw were a lot of names on the sidewalk that she didn’t recognize plus a lot of live performers dressed like stars asking for money. They found it all kind of seedy. Carly, being a teen-ager, was looking for someone she had heard of under 25 (at the least). Another irony: Carly will most likely come back in twenty years or so to see her favorites on the walk of fame and then HER kids won’t know who they are.

Next!

The obvious thing to do was to take them on my own version of the “Homes of the Stars” tour. First we started in my own neighborhood. I pointed out Alex Trebec’s house, which is just down the street. Carly said, “Who’s he?”

Next: I drove them a little further up the street to Gene Autry’s house with the big Flying “A” on his gate. That always impressed me. But, to Carly, nothing. However when we got to George Clooney’s house, there was instant success. The real winner was when I pulled into the gated community at the top of the hill and announced, “This is where Britney Spears lives.” When I saw Carly glancing around for the paparazzi, I knew I had scored one for the home team.

I did discover one trick that I will pass on to all you future visitor tour guides. Take your guests through Beverly Hills and just keep pointing at houses and announcing, “This is where Brad Pitt lives,” or “This is the home of Lindsey Lohan.” In other words, just make up names to fit addresses. Who would know. Even the tour buses use that routine. Their maps are many times out of date.

For example, this map I found on the Internet gives MY celebrity bus tour address. Problem is, I moved out of that address over 50 years ago (I whited-out the house number to keep the neighborhood free of paparazzi).

To make my point, I pulled up behind a tour bus. You know, the kind that has people sitting up on a top deck? The tour driver pointed to a house and everyone started taking pictures. Now I don’t know who the bus driver was referring to, but I happen to know who lives in that house. Nice people, but they have nothing to do with Hollywood show business. But, so what? Everyone on the bus was thrilled and they were all having a great time.

After my tour was over I really felt that Hollywood needs some truly extravagant displays of our famous town. A little more showbiz pazazz. Especially Hollywood Boulevard. The Hollywood Walk of Stars could be made so much more exciting if they just made a few changes.

I've said this before. Supplement the Hollywood Walk of Fame with the Hollywood Heads of Fame. In the 60s I was honored to have my wax figure in the Hollywood Wax Museum (on Hollywood Blvd).

Years later while shooting a segment for “Fight Back! with David Horowitz,’ in front of the museum, one of my crew members went inside to see if they still had my figure.

He came out with my head. You see, when a star’s light dims, they remove the figure, keeping the head in The Hollywood Museum head shop.

Here's the deal. Rescue all those heads on a shelf and put them on lamp poles along the Hollywood Walk of Fame and call it “The Hollywood Heads of Fame.” Think of the possibilities. When each head is raised to the lamp-post, mobs carrying flaming torches could gather. They would chant, “Hooray For Hollywood.” Now this would be the real Hollywood for tourists to see.

Don’t like that idea? Well, I’m going to throw it right back at all you future tourists and tour guides.

WHEN YOU COME TO HOLLYWOOD, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO SEE?

Let me know and I’ll work on it.

Don’t leave out the Hollywood Sign. It’s one “H” of a Hollywood icon.

Stay tuned.

THE ATTACK OF THE MEAN CYBERBULLY

2008-03-07T22:47:00.000-08:00

There is one thing that upsets me everytime I listen to talk radio (one thing?). The hosts are always putting down “mainstream media,” A.K.A, the newspaper. They do this while obviously quoting from their local newspaper in order to get the facts for their story. Local radio shows don’t have the money to staff a large research or investigative department, so they let the mainstreamers do the work.

As for myself, I couldn’t face the day without my Los Angeles Times. The headline above is from a story I read in this morning’s edition (March 7, 2008). It was written by Times Staff Writer Seema Mehta, and is about a new form of human tantalizer, the “Cyberbully.” The meanie who posts bully-like comments on the Internet.

This article rang a bell in my head (a very loud bell). I had just posted a new blog which mentioned one of my earlier shows, Lloyd Thaxton’s Record Shop. And I posted a picture of me interviewing Stan Freberg.

The next day after my posting went up, I got my first cyberbully comment.

-------------------------------------------------------

10:58 AM

Anonymous said...

A great post and a lesson for the ages. If you could only spell Stan Freberg's name, it would be perfect.

----------------------------------------------------------

Now, I’m not really serious about calling this anonymous person a cyberbully. However, the use of the pseudonym “anonymous” could have been a really big mistake.

The second I saw this comment, I flashed back 43 years to another such subtle attack. It was 1965 and I had decided to change my show’s theme song, So What by Bill Black and his combo. I asked my friend Herb Alpert if he would record a new one for me. Being the great guy he is, Herb never missed a beat. The next day he was in the recording studio and the new theme, So What’s New, was born.

When I received the “Stan Freeberg-Stan Freberg” cyberbully comment, I asked Dan Schaarschmidt, Research Video’s ace video editor, to dig into my show archives and find the famous Herb Alpert end-credit. Remember this?

This credit was posted after every show for six months. That is until we got a letter from a listener (TV bully?) who wrote and said …. What?

Take a closer read. What’s wrong with this picture?

You got it. We spelled Herb Alpert’s name wrong. For six months (180 shows) we didn’t hear one complaint. That is until our TV bully (a woman fan) called and informed us of our mistake.

We were, to put it mildly, extremely flabbergasted. However, we bounced back and decided to make a big deal out of it. We invited our bully viewer to join us on the very next show. Then we told a lie (albeit, a tongue-in-cheek kind of lie). We told her it had been a contest all along and that she, being the first one to catch the mistake, had won a TV set. We presented the prize amidst much applause, corrected our mistake, and the beat went on.

There’s no Business like Show Business!!

That’s why I said that the bully who posted the Stan Freberg-Stan Freeberg comment made a big mistake. By using “anonymous” as their moniker, there is no way I can respond. Think about it. There was always the chance that I was having another contest and that maybe an iPhone, or an iPod, or a plasma HD TV might have been the prize for discovery.

Suggestion: next time anyone wants to be a cyberbully on this blog, add your email address and use the name “anonymouse” instead of “anonymous. “That way I will know you are a Mouse Cliquer and eligible for any prizes that just might be for the taking.

No more lies. I loved the comment. It made me smile.

Stay tuned.

WHY LLOYD THAXTON DISAPPEARED - AGAIN?

2008-03-01T12:46:00.000-08:00

LLOYD'S DOG TUCKER'S FAVORITE POST

I was looking over some of my previous posts and was surprised to discover that I have been doing this for over 2 years (This is my 100th posting). According to the amount of comments my past posting, “WHY LLOYD THAXTON DISAPPEARED,” generated, it would make it the most popular one I’ve written so far. Because it was posted so long ago, I realized that many of our newer Mouse Cliquers might have missed it. So, here it is again.

Sub Title
I LET THEM ADD THE BRASS

In 1959 I was hosting The Lloyd Thaxton Record Shop on channel 13, Los Angeles. I sat all by myself behind a desk in front of a stage flat painted to look like record shop album shelves.

Like a radio disk jockey, I played records. This, however, was TV and the audience had to watch something while the records were playing. So, among a host of others gimmicks, I lip-synced, faked musical instruments and created finger people to perform this task. Even though it was a morning show with a low rating, I did manage to get some great musical artists as guest.

By 1961, just before the debut of The Lloyd Thaxton Show, which added teen-agers to the mix, the Record Shop had built up quite a sizable audience.

One morning I had country singer Jimmy Dean as a guest. Most people today know Jimmy Dean as the frozen sausage king.

But in the late 50’s, Jimmy not only made hit records, he was also the star of a highly rated country music TV show in New York City. That is, until, according to Jimmy; “I let them add the brass.”

Though The Jimmy Dean Show was already a hit in the New York suburbs, no one expected the show to make it in the Big City itself. But, according to the ratings, the show was, in fact, becoming a big city hit. Because of this, the wise men at the New York station came to Jimmy and said he would have to make some major changes in the show. “Why?” asked Jimmy. “The show is a hit.”

According to these wise men, THAT was the very reason for the changes. They told Jimmy the viewers in the city are too sophisticated to watch a country music show. The show now has to be more sophisticated. “But the show is already a hit with the big city slickers. They like it as it is,” complained Jimmy.

The wise men won out and added all kinds of changes. Out went the country humor and all those fiddles. In their place they put a big band with lots of trombones and trumpets (they added the brass). The format was totally changed from “A Little Bit of Country” to “Big Brassy New York City.”

You guessed it. The ratings went in the toilet and the show was canceled. Jimmy was telling me this story as a friendly warning. He said that I should not change anything in my show just because the ratings showed that more and more Los Angeles people were starting to watch it.

When Jimmy left the studio, his parting words were, “Remember, Lloyd, don’t let them add the brass.”

In 1966, I forgot.

The Lloyd Thaxton Show was designed from the beginning as a low budget local show. It had one host (me), an average of 30 teens dancing to records in a small TV studio in front of an inexpensive set. There were several innovative elements that separated it from other dance shows at the time. Everyone (myself and the kids) lip-synced records and performed other wild and crazy production numbers in order to make the music visual and more entertaining to watch. Some have referred to these bits as “the beginning of the Music Video.” The show held on to its classic local show look.

In just 10 months, The Lloyd Thaxton Show zoomed to the top in Los Angeles. Not only was it a hit with teens, it was number one with 18-39 year-old viewers. This is the audience demographic most coveted by advertisers and in 1964 the show went into national syndication. And, guess what. The wise men showed up.

I was advised that because the show would now be seen in cities like New York, Chicago and San Francisco, we had to make changes. At the time, I remembered Jimmy Dean’s advice and refused to change or “add the brass.” The show continued its rating success in every city it played, big and small. It looked so local that many people thought that it was telecast live from their own city’s station.

Reality Fact #1: The only reason the show was in syndication was because it was rated number one in the 18-39 demographics. Advertisers drool over this coveted bracket and the Lloyd Thaxton show was getting the winning numbers.

Reality Fact #2: Very few corporate executives, the ones who make the ad buying decisions, really watch the shows they advertise in on a regular basis, if at all. They make their ad buy decisions based on the rating books.

Then one day it all changed.

One of the Lloyd Thaxton Show’s biggest advertisers was Colgate-Palmolive. Colgate placed a lot of ads in the show. One afternoon the president of Colgate just happened to tune in and watched for about five minutes. What did he see? According to him, he saw nothing but teen-agers DANCING! He immediately called his ad department and asked, “Why are we advertising in that show? It’s a teen show! They don’t buy toothpaste!” The advertising department could not convince the president of the company that the rating books , not only showed teens were watching, but, adults 18-39, were also watching, so Colgate pulled their ads. On some TV stations this represented about 50% of their advertising and they panicked.

In marched the wise men again. “Change the show. Make it look older,” they said. This time I didn’t listen to Jimmy Dean. I could have held on. There were enough other advertisers aboard to get us through this short-term emergency. But, I gave in and agreed to make changes.

I made what I now consider to be my biggest mistake. I changed the age limit for the kids on the show. They now had to be over 18. Instead of always using high school groups, I intermingled them with college students. “Ok,” I said, “If any of the wise men tune in now, they will see 18 to 23 year-olds on the show.

Was this a fantastically shrewd move or not? NOT! I had broken the Jimmy Dean rule. I had “added the brass.”

Though it was still a very entertaining show, I slowly started to lose some of my faithful teen audience. This was the show’s core. The overall ratings dropped. I could have still held on (and sometimes I wish I had) but I had been doing the Record Shop, plus The Lloyd Thaxton Show five days a week, 52 weeks a year for over nine years and felt I should move on. The final straw, of course, was the 60s itself. The Vietnam War, the teen-age draft, the assassinations of President John F. Kennedy, his brother Robert, plus Martin Luther King, Civil Rights Demonstrations, riots, Rock & Roll’s morphing into “Sex, Drugs, and Rock & Roll,” was taking a heavy toll on teen-agers. This was the beginning of the end of the fabulous 60s.

I cancelled the show.

I sometimes wonder that if I hadn’t given in to the wise men (There were definitely more than three), some version of The Lloyd Thaxton Show would still be around today.

We’ve all heard the saying, “What works, works. What doesn't work, doesn't work. Working hard at what doesn't work will never make it work” (Stuff Happens)

Adding the brass doesn't work.

Stay tuned

WE GET LETTERS, STACKS AND STACKS ...

2008-02-28T12:35:00.000-08:00

MY WIFE BARBARA READING COMMENTS

Perry Como used to sing: "Letters, we get letters. We get stacks and stacks of letters. Dear Perry, would you be so kind, and fulfill our request, and sing the song we like best. " If you have to ask, "Who's Perry Como?" then ... don't ask.

It was 1956, almost a decade before The Lloyd Thaxton Show, but I remember those words so clearly. They announced the segment on the Perry Como Show that acknowledged the many letters he received for requests. I always looked forward to this segment.

As a matter of fact, I remember saying to myself at the time, "If ever I get a blog on the Internet, I'm going to have a letter acknowledgement section of my own." That shows you how foresighted I was back in the 50s.

It's a known fact that more people read blogs than take the time to write a comment. But when they do, it means a lot to me. On one past blog, I had asked the question, "Who would want to buy a Lloyd Thaxton Show DVD?" Here are just a few of the many comments I received. You have no idea how great they made me feel.

Are you ready? Everybody sing: "Comments, we get comments. We get stacks and stacks of comments. Dear Lloydie, would you be so kind and fulfill our requests and lip-sync the song we like the best."

5:21 PM
Blogger Gary said...

Trust me, Lloyd, there ARE enough fans out there still! I'm a serious collector of old footage and I know MANY that are like me PLUS I know plenty of casual collectors as well and then there's the average joe who would buy the dvd because they just plain remember you and have fond memories of the show! They would buy a dvd just to see if they could see themselves on it or somebody they know. The musical guest would just be frosting on the cake. The time is NOW, Lloyd, before the baby boomers are gone!

Gary

9:49 PM
Anonymous said...

Hi, Lloyd! Really enjoy your website and your very entertaining anecdotes. Count me in as someone would love to own a Lloyd Thaxton DVD. Why not advertise on Classmates.com? I'm sure 1960's grads would snatch it up. Sue

9:46 AM
Blogger Robert V. said...

hey lloyd. I'm there with my $$ to buy a lloyd thaxton DVD.

7:07 PM
Anonymous said...

I remember many bits from the show: "Swami Says", "Don't Lose Your Marbles", L-O-N-E-L-Y, Lip-sync greeting cards, "Summer Wind" with all kinds of garbage blowing at you, marvelous! How did you ever think up those things?

I can't wait to buy the DVD!

8:54 AM
Anonymous said...

I hope you do put out a DVD I would like to have one, it would go with one of my favourite sites reelradio.

11:46 PM
Blogger Ol'Rocker said...

Hey Lloyd, listen to these boomers- get your DVD on the market NOW. Make the old ad men eat brass...

7:55 AM
Anonymous zmudville said...

Funny how it all works. I would bet that "Lloyd Thaxton" never, ever, not one time entered my mind from about 1969 till just the other day. All of a sudden for whatever reason I'm googling the name and whaddayaknow: you're not dead yet! (And I mean that in a good way.)

Even before I started reading your blog I remembered parts of your show: cool guests (who cared if they were lip-synching), the lip-synch contests, your "instrument-synching" (when you were banging on piano keys to someone else's record you never missed a note). I was 15 in '65, growing up in Chicago. Your afternoon show was a little after-school party for me every day.

But I had totally forgotten Dawk, fergodsake! And I used to draw him in my school notebooks, writing "Dawk rules!" in his little sign!

Anyway, just wanted to say thanks for still being alive, keep up the blog and count me as someone interested in your CD if that project comes together.

8:32 AM
Anonymous Josh Jacobs said...

I was born in 1972 and have read Bill Earl's book Dream House and am currently reading Ben Fong Torres' book on Top 40 radio. I loved the characters you created on Fight Back with David Horowitz. The one I best remember is Dr. Webly Frion (I probably didn't spell it right). I'd love to buy the DVD of the Lloyd Thaxton show.

5:04 AM
Anonymous Frank Monzo said...

Lloyd, I would buy the DVD for sure. I was 15 in 1965 (56 now) and would watch the show just about every day. I lived in Philly and knew some of the American Bandstand regulars, but I always enjoyed the unique humor you brought to the show. I remember seeing Sonny and Cher. I also remember Al Martino not showing up. (Is Al here?)Glad I found your site and hope we'll be hearing about a DVD release soon.

11:15 AM
Anonymous Peter Dhanes said...

I too would like to request a performance that you did on your show if you ever do release something. You lip synched and trumpet synched The point of no return, I still think about it and I am 54 this past Sept.

2:29 PM
Blogger Fred said...

Growing up in SoCal, I remember very clearly being 10 years old in 1966 and watching your show. I would definitely buy your DVD.

1:59 PM
Anonymous Fat Chuck said...

I'm looking for the "On my back, I want Wilson." routine. And also "They got no right, to push and shove us little kids around" - I think that's how it went. So yeah, make SOMETHING available! Please.

7:34 PM
Anonymous Fat Chuck said...

I'm remembering when Sonny Bono gave Lloyd "the vest off his back". I think it was leopard-skin or something. That might have been when Sonny debuted "Laugh At Me" on the show.

7:41 PM
Anonymous Trish Rozhon said...

Lloyd, I would DEFINITELY buy a DVD of your shows. I spent many enjoyable hours watching! By the way, didn't Sonny & Cher first appear on your show as Anthony & Cleopatra?

7:04 PM
Anonymous Sandy said...

How cool to stumble onto this site. I was born in 1955, and in the early 60s as a little kid I remember my teen-age sister dancing in the family room and lip-synching along to the Lloyd Thaxton show.
Constantly.
One specific memory is Lloyd and the crowd started cheering--in 1962 obviously--when Lloyd announced the Dodgers had won the pennant. Of course, they lost that heartbreaking playoff to the Giants, and then Lloyd had to take it back. Remember that?
Count me in as a DVD buyer. For me and my big sister.

6:33 PM
Anonymous Anonymouse said...

I'm glad I Googled your name, Lloyd. That's how I found this site. My youth was spent in L.A. and your show and Mike Bloggett's show from the beach were two vivid memories that live on.
I listened to 93-KHJ and my favorite dj wasn't Humble Harv, but Sam Riddle. Does anyone remember him?
Now, years later, radio and even TV hardly exist. Life has become one long - lying - informercial.
But they can't molest my memories of Lloyd Thaxton! ... "Keep on dan-cin', dan-cin' and a pran-cin, do the jerk now . . . c'ma, c'ma, baby, c'ma on watch me work."
- Dusty Nathan
www.writesight.com/writers/misterwriter111

11:01 AM
Anonymous Dan Fiebiger said...

From: Portland, Oregon

It was in the early 60s, pre-Beatles, when your show was aired on a local Portland, Oregon station for a time (don't remember which one), and I tuned in regularly. I was about 10-11-12 years old.

The most memorable bit for me that you did was "guitar"-synking an instrumental tune called SCRATCHY by Travis Wammack on something that I vaguely recall looked like a souped-up tennis racket combined with the bow of a bow-and-arrow set. An odd looking thing that wasn't intended to fool anyone into thinking it was a real guitar, but was "played" just for visual fun of it.

Lloyd, do you remember that song and "guitar" thing? 1962 or 1963 or so.

You did a pretty precise job of it, too, as I remember. Fun show. Never knew why the local station dropped it, and I missed it when it disappaeared. Am glad a possible DVD might be available. Hope you find the SCRATCHY "guitar" bit on tape and include it on the DVD.

E-mail me when the DVD ever becomes available.

6:48 AM
Blogger suezz said...

I Would definitly buy your DVD!! I loved your show, I was 13...Everyday I watched it.. i remember one in particular for some reason; a skit you were doing: You were wrapping your arms around yourself as you had your back to the camera.lol It looked so real...i don't know why that one sticks in my head..
Suezz

12:00 AM
Blogger suezz said...

oh i forgot, e-mail me when its available at suzie03@adelphia.net

7:13 PM
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Lloyd! Hearing you on Rollye James Show tonight brought back memories of watching your show in the 60's! I have sorely missed it for years. I grew up in St. Pete, Florida and if I remember right you were on WFLA Channel 8?
Anyway, if you put out a DVD, I definitely will buy it!
Hope there are thousands of other "boomers" who will too!

Phil Colaianni - playasong@comcast.net
(Sunshine Internet Radio)

8:58 PM
Anonymous said...

Does anyone remember the name of the contest where teens sat in chairs and danced? The silliness of it has always stayed with me. Still makes me laugh.

7:39 AM
Anonymous Frank said...

I remember Lloyd opening one show with a lip-synch of "Cara Mia" by Jay and The Americans. He was wearing a Viking opera singer's outfit,complete with spear and sword -typical Fat Lady outfit belting out Cara Mia- he was hilarious ---

10:46 AM
Blogger Karen said...

the image I have in my head, is you on a swing, on your knees with shoes at your knees, like a little kid. can't recall the song, but you were my favorite show! Watched in Tampa...born in '52...Karen

3:25 PM
Anonymous said...

Lloyd! I'm 55 years old & would love to have DVDs of the show to view with my grandkids! Thank you for being there to entertain me! I truly loved your show! "So what" ;-)

8:50 AM
Anonymous said...

I loved your show! You were a funny guy. I enjoyed your lip-synching. I remembered one time in 1964 you played a Beatles song from "The Music Man" with music only from TV & a local radio station played the words only ("Till They Was You")

5:08 PM
Anonymous Terry Mac said...

Hi Lloyd,Your show may have changed but I started watching in 1968 in the D.C. market and I thought it and you were great. Unlike a lot of shows at the time...it felt "real". I also fell in love with one of your audience girls who lip synched to Vicki Carr's "It Must Be Him"! Sigh. I wouldn't mind another day back there Lloyd! All the best.

8:31 PM
Blogger Nantar said...

I was on your show 3 times in the 60's. It was so funny because my grandmother (at home) was watching the show when I was chosen to lip sync to Petula Clark's song "Round Every Corner". She thought I was really singing! I've told my husband and twin daughters about my experiences on Lloyd Thaxton Show and they would love to see a DVD of some of the shows. Of course, they'd love to see me lip syncing but that show may not be available. Anyway, such great memories from those "dancing" days. I'll keep checking this site to see if a DVD comes out. Thank you for putting up this blog.
Bye for now.

5:40 AM
Blogger jasmyme said...

Hi Lloyd,
I was a dancer on your dance show in the 60's. Me and my high school classmates had a great time. And I was on your show 3 times. My children and grandchildren would really enjoy seeing those tapes. Please put them on DVD.It's a lot of us that want to buy them. Thanks for that time in my life.

6:02 PM
Anonymous said...

Hi Lloyd,

Both my brother and I were on your show several times in 1964 and 1965. My brother even won a pair of "Saturday-Nighters" Please bring back the your shows on DVD!

Steve (Long Beach CA back then)

4:07 PM
Anonymous said...

I'd buy your DVD in a heartbeat.

6:08 PM
Blogger Melissa M said...

Loved the reference to MR. BASSMAN and I also remember The Bird Is the Word being really funny, many appearances of the Righteous Brothers, one with you pretending (?) to goose Bobby Hatfield (RIP) to get those high notes, and for some reason April Stevens and Nino??? singing Deep Purple. I also remember Sonny Bono's fuzzy vest on you. I'm surprised no one else has mentioned Famous Hooks. Was he one of the proposed "co-hosts"? I was in San Diego watching the LA station and never realized there was a national show. Thanks for lots of fun and for giving me the feeling I was part of a bigger teenage experience, not to mention showing me some really cool dance moves.

3:54 PM
Blogger Diane said...

Lloyd, I'm so glad I found you!I've been wanting to see re-runs of The Lloyd Thaxton Show for years...Since it was done live does that mean there are no re-runs available?
I was a faithful watcher of your show from 1965 on. My high school class from Santa Ana Valley was on there in 1966 I believe.
I loved the sit down dancers, lip sinking and finger people! What a great show!
Please let me know where I can purchase a DVD of your show. I would love to see it.

Julie

11:51 AM
Anonymous said...

I can't believe that I found you, I have missed you so much. You were such a big part of my teenage life, and for you to just not be there anymore, was really sad. I loved when you would have the kids lip sync, and of course, your lip syncing as well. What great memories. I'd buy a dvd in a heart beat!!

6:46 PM
Anonymous zackzelmo said...

Hi Lloyd,
I was 10 in 1965. I loved your show. The finger puppets were great (we all tried to get the coordination but somehow couldn't quite do it) However the BEST bit that we used to laugh at was your beat up trumpet. Thanks fro so many wonderful memories of growing up. Yes I would buy the DVD!!!!!!!!!!

2:28 AM
Anonymous The King said...

I was born in 1947 and grew up in So Cal. I watched your show regularly and had some high school friends who appeared on the show once. I hope you put out the DVD...it would be a great gift for one 'boomer to give to another. And I have a saying for you. One I use alot. "The older I get, the more I need to be around people who remember me when I was young". And I just downloaded the 'Go Go's' song 'Bikini Beach' which, of course, pays homage to The LT Show. ROCK ON!

John

10:47 PM
Anonymous The King said...

Oops...that's 'Beatnik Beach'...sorry for the wrong info.

John

10:49 PM
Anonymous said...

Dear Lloyd: I watched your show on a New Bedford and a Boston Station. I got to see yesterdays show again. I thought you & the format were low-budget sensational. I looked forward to watching every day after school. I was 15 in '64. As far as wanting to see reruns. I would definately. If I could not get them thru Netflix, I would buy them. Oh hell, I'd buy them if you released them.
Jim, Austin, Texas

6:32 PM
Anonymous JUDYCATS said...

DEAR LLOYD
I WAS ON THE SHOW EVERY WEEK FOR A LONG TIME. WE WERE FROM MARK KEPPEL HIGH SCHOOL. I REMEMBER LIP SYNCING ON A LADDER TO THE KINGSTON TRIO. I WOULD LOVE TO BUY YOUR DVD FOR MY FAMILY. THOSE WERE THE GOOD OLD DAYS.
JUDY

2:10 PM
Anonymous Larry said...

Hi lloyd
I talk about your show anytime someone brings up music videos.
I loved it --- my favorite was when you had the cardboard cutout of a car for the song "Last Exit to Brooklyn" by Gene pitney. I too would buy a copy!
We miss you!!!!

6:56 PM
Anonymous Edgar F. said...

Hey LLoyd:
Oh I'd love to buy your DVD's. It brings me back great memories of my childhood. Boy did I have fun.
I was in my early teens in those days, I come from a numerous latino family out in Pasadena,CA I had to sneak out
to a neighbor's house in order to watch your show since no one was interested in my family. We barely
spoke English then!
Please le met know when I can purchase your DVD's.
Edgar

3:43 PM
Anonymous Arnold Faber said...

You were a huge part of us in Toronto Canada in those days. I went on to become a pro musician and your show was a big influence. I loved the way you lip-synced Roger Miller's "Trailers For Sale Or Rent"(amongst many others). You exposed us to so much great music!

Why don't you give us a few utube gems to test the waters for DVD interest.

Keep well, all the best!

5:12 AM
Anonymous said...

We miss you Lloyd, I grew laughing at your antics as I was a funny kid that was became a comedy actor and then evolved into becoming a highly sought after comedy Casting Director (department head). In High School the kids said I looked like you which would prompt me doing you. Thanks for the laughs and what you taught us, we remember....stay well.

Mike Hanks
W. Los Angeles

1:58 PM
Anonymous Pete said...

Lloyd, you have to release that DVD! There are thousands of fans who would love to see your show again. I believe in NYC You and Clay Cole had the top two teen shows! Thanks

6:11 PM
Anonymous lordueno37 said...

Hi Lloyd,

I was on your show approximately 5 times during the 60's. One of the things that stands out in my mind was having Donovan sing live. He did Universal Soldier and Catch the Wind. Bo Diddly was on the same show. It was the "Gidget Era"
and So Cal was the place to be. I went to reunion show a few years ago and it sure brought back great memories. Please get that DVD out. It would be super popular. I'd buy a box set. Wayne from Taft High

11:00 AM
OpenID aikenjf said...

Dear Lloyd,

Like another writer in this queue, I too, was wondering what happened to you. Thank God for Google.
What a great story about the brass. So true.
I grew up in Philly, and KYW, then a Westinghouse station, aired your show at 5p every day. As a kid whose sister used to dance on American Bandstand when it was a local show, I can appreciate the story you told about Jimmy Dean.
My brothers and i used to watch your show and really enjoyed the lip-synchs, and I recall you were a big hit in our High School.
No offense to the folks from SOCAL, but Bandstand went downhill when it left Philly, for the same reasons you outlined about your own show. Your show became a replacement for Bandstand for us a a lot of our friends.
I think these comment should tell you -- there's a market for you on DVD. Thanks for the memories and all the laughs/
Jonathan

9:14 AM
Blogger jamingram said...

Hi Lloyd -
Thank you for this web site!!! Your show was a "trail blazer". I would love it if you had DVD's available. I danced on your show many times. A group of us from Mark Keppel High School in Alhambra used to go frequently. My grandkids would love to see the good ol' days. Please make them available. Forever grateful for those days.
Luv to you,
Betty

Stay tuned

MY VISIT TO FLORENCE

2008-02-26T09:29:00.000-08:00

I keep moving this up on my list. Why? Ain't it obvious? Florence was a real (reel?) trip.

If you haven't seen this, click on the arrow and enjoy.
If you have seen it, just scroll down ... and ...

Stay tuned.

THE YouTube GENERATION GAP (UP-DATE)

2008-02-15T17:46:00.000-08:00

Tuesday, February 19th, I lectured before the “Music, Television and American Culture” class at the University of Southern California (USC). It was my third appearance in an equal amount of years and, as before, it was a great experience. I learned how wonderful students can be when I did my show in the 60s. This talk was no different, enforcing my theory that if you give respect, you get respect back. These students were awesome (to borrow their own phrase).

The class is taught by Jon Burlingame, the nation’s leading writer on the subject of music for films and television. Jon writes regularly for The New York Times and Daily Variety and has written several best selling books on the subject. He is also the owner of 5 Lloyd Thaxton Dawks. What a guy.

My lecture was “Making Recorded Music Visual For Television.” One thing that fascinates me about this class is that the average age is 21 years, which means that the oldest student in the class was born 20 YEARS AFTER my show went off the air. They had no idea who I was (unless their parents mentioned me) and it was great fun trying to win them over. My favorite comment from a student after my first talk was, “I hope when I graduate I will get a job as fun as yours.” There is a comment below, left by a student who was at the lecture, that made my day. The reason why, just like the Energizer bunny, I keep going and going.

This is the Internet generation we’re talking about (and talking to) here. The same kids who kick-started YouTube’s success with their amateurish lip-syncing to records. Not unlike the amateurish lip-syncing I started out with on my show. The difference is these YouTube performances were viewed by more people than any of my attempts on my first show. However, lucky for me, videotape was invented (Al Gore?), national syndication followed and television career opportunities, including mine, grew to enormous proportions.

And, lucky for these students, the Internet is going to do the same thing for them, opening up an exciting future for all in the communication arts. I loved being able to discuss these future possibilities with these young show business entrepreneurs of tomorrow.

Actually, when you come to think about it, there is no generation gap here at all.

SORRY THAT THIS WON'T PLAY.
IT'S JUST A MOCK-UP FOR THINGS TO COME

But ...

Stay tuned.

ELVIS IS ALIVE ... ALIVE!

2008-02-08T11:00:00.000-08:00

In my last posting, I delved into the "Where were you when..." subject; people remembering exactly where they were when a momentous event happened in their lives. The subject of the posting was the assassination of John F. Kennedy on November 22, 1963. If you missed it, scroll down and read it before you tackle this one. There is a tie-in.

A few days ago I got an invitation from a long-time friend, television producer and director, Steve Binder. When I was doing The Lloyd Thaxton Show back in the 60s, Steve was directing The Soupy Sales Show. My show was on from 5 to 6 in the afternoon and Soupy's show was on from 5:30 to 6. Needless to say, we were both fighting for the same audience and when Soupy came on at 5:30, he cut into my ratings.

I came up with a way of fighting back. I would schedule my biggest name guest artists at 5:25 and carry the segment through to 5:35. I figured that once I lured my audience past the opening of Soupy's show, they would stay with my show. Sneaky? Well, it worked.

It was a friendly rivalry and Steve and I would meet now and then at a local watering hole and discuss our day to day careers. It is amazing to me that those conversations all took place over 40 years ago.

What has this to do with Elvis? The invitation I got from Steve was to attend the 40th Anniversary showing of The Elvis '68 Comeback Special on March 14th, which Steve had produced and directed for NBC Television.

As soon as I read the invitation my mind immediately flashed back to 1956. At the time I hosted a TV show at WSPD-TV in Toledo, Ohio, Leave It To Lloyd. Elvis was scheduled to do a concert at the city's Sports Arena. It was THE momentous event for our city.

Where exactly was I on that date? I was on stage introducing ELVIS PRESLEY. Can you ever forget something like that?

"Lloyd, what was it like to be chosen the one to introduce the King?" Glad you asked that question, because I have been waiting 52 years to tell you.

The first thing that happened was meeting Elvis back stage just before he was to go on.

The air was filled with electricity. The arena had put up ten foot high partitions around the back stage area to keep the crowds away. While speaking to Elvis, I couldn't help but notice the security guards using their batons to swat the fingers of teen-age girls as they tried to climb over the partitions. You could hear the crowd growing restless in their seats. It was really bazaar; like the sound the wind makes before an approaching tornado. Elvis seem completely oblivious to the situation. He was in his element.

When the time finally arrived, I walked up the stairs and on to the stage. As soon as my head popped into view ....

PANDEMONIUM!

The crowd went crazy. I had never heard screams so loud. Over 10,000 girls were screaming at the top of their lungs. It didn't take long for me to figure it out. They did this to EVERYONE who walked out on that stage. They thought (hoped) that it was ELVIS.

I stood there soaking it all in and then made my brilliant introduction that absolutely no one ever heard. Elvis jumped out on stage, started his act and the screaming continued for the entire two hour show. No fireworks, no dancers, no costume changes, just Elvis and his band. It was absolutely unbelievable.

My two young sons, Lee and Robin, were sitting in the audience and told me later how much they HATED it. For two hours they couldn't hear anything but screaming girls (and you know how much young boys love screaming girls). "The screaming youngsters frequently bordered on hysteria," a Blade reporter wrote in the next day's paper.

But to a girl, the 10,000 screamers (even the ones with sore fingers), it was the most exciting event of their young lives. And, Toledo had made it to the big time. As for me , I not only remember the exact date, I remember exactly where I was standing; next to the KING.

It was November 22, 1956, exactly seven years, to the day, before that other "where were you" date, November 22, 1963.

Stay tuned.

NOVEMBER 22, 1963 - STAY TUNED

2008-01-30T16:55:00.000-08:00

As I told you many times, my morning routine rarely changes. Up at about 6 AM, I pour myself a cup of coffee, pop a Tart into my 70-year-old toaster (that's a another story), and completely devour the Los Angeles Times, front page to back. One of my favorite columnists is Steve Lopez. In this morning's article he ended his story on the presidential races with the same signature I always use, "Stay tuned."

Most people who were around in the 60s have been asked this question, "Where were you when John F. Kennedy was assassinated?" And, most people can recall it in full detail. On that fateful November 22, 1963 day, I not only remember where I was, but I remember exactly what I said, "Stay tuned."

There are actually two things that bring that day to mind. Besides me saying, "Stay tuned," the word "BINGO" comes to mind. It's quite a story and you know I'm going to tell it.

In 1963 I was staff announcer at KCOP in Los Angeles. At the time I was also producing and hosting The Lloyd Thaxton Show. I had been doing both because I refused to quit my "day job." Even though I had a local hit show on my hands, one never knows. It wasn't until 1964, when my show went into syndication across the country, that I had the nerve to give it up. For over a year I wrote the show in the announce booth, located in a windowed room looking down on one of KCOP's TV studios.

KCOP had recently given the order telling the staff announcer on duty to check the news wires constantly. If the announcer found a news item deemed worthy of broadcasting, he should go to the booth and inform the staff director on duty that he had a "special announcement." The director would then interrupt the program that was playing at the moment and the staff announcer would cut in with "We interrupt this program to bring you this special news bulletin."

Now 99 out of a 100 of these "special news bulletins" were not very special at all and many were just plain stupid. However on that November 22 morning while scanning the news machine I came up with this.

(ACTUAL BULLETIN)

The first part of the bulletin was mistyped and garbled. But, the words "SERIOUSLY WOUNDED IN DOWNTOWN DALLAS TODAY...PERHAPS FATALLY," came through in chilling detail. I stood there breathlessly as I waited for more. Who was it that was "PERHAPS FATALLY" wounded? And then, after waiting through several minutes of agonizing silence from the news teletype machine, I watched as the following words were oh-so slowly typed out.

"ZA SNIPER SERIOUSLY WOUNDED PRESIDENT KENNEDY IN

DOWNTOWN DALLAS TODAY ... PERHAPS FATALLY"

Note that the obviously distraught typist still blew the first word by adding a Z. Wouldn't you, if you had to type out that message?

There was no one else in the halls at KCOP as I made my way back up to the announce booth. When I got there I flipped the switch putting my mike in contact with the director ("UP" to the director. "DOWN" on-the-air). The director said, "Lloyd, this better be a good one. We are interrupting a live show, you know." I looked down from my booth window into the studio below. There was a live Bingo game going on in front of a small audience. I said to the director, "Trust me. This is the one."

And then I pushed the switch down and said, "We interrupt this program to bring you a special news bulletin." I read the bulletin and ended with, "Stay tuned to KCOP for further information." There it was: "STAY TUNED." At the time it was a wasted phrase. I knew right then and there that every set that was watching KCOP at the time would switch to a network station for the latest news and for the next week or so we would be a non-watched station.

The Bingo show had to go on anyway because it had nowhere else to go. There was no KCOP news "Department" at the time, and our regularly scheduled programing had to continue. The last thing I heard as I was picking up the phone to call our local news "person" to ask for instructions was, "The next letter is a 'G.'" I never heard anyone yell "BINGO!" The game was over (in more ways then one).

Where were you on November 22, 1963?

Stay tuned.

THE OLDER YOU ARE, THE LESS INTERESTING YOU ARE ?

2008-01-23T17:19:00.000-08:00

"SUTHERLAND'S RELEASE FROM JAIL NETS A YAWN"

That was the headline in a Los Angeles Times news story written by Andrew Blankstein. Kiefer Sutherland, according to the article, "walked out of jail early Monday, January 21st, "mostly to a collective shrug of tabloid indifference."

Frank Griffin, co-owner of Bauer-Griffin photo agency and a veteran paparazzo, was more blunt, "He's not one of those faces that does much," Griffin said of Sutherland (the 41 year old actor). He's no Lindsay Lohan."

I would guess you could substitute Lindsay Lohan in that statement with Britney Spears or Paris Hilton or any one of the other young starlets who feed the appetite of "celebrity magazines and the ever-growing ranks of Hollywood-related gossip blogs and websites."

My immediate rebuttal to all this BS is: "Lindsay Lohan is no Kiefer Sutherland."

Maybe that is because I am prejudiced. I don't think of Kiefer Sutherland as being Kiefer Sutherland. To me his name is Jack Bauer (note that the photo agency mentioned is "Bauer-Griffin." Jack Bauer would be a great paparazzo). My wife, Barbara's, and my favorite show on TV is "24." We don't watch it weekly. Couldn't stand to have to wait a week to see the next episode. We rent the DVD from Netflix and watch all 24 shows in about three days. A total submission into terror, torture and mayhem (and some damn good writing and directing).

When I read that they considered Sutherland a "yawn," I went into CNN to see some pictures of his release. I couldn't find any. And, there was only one story on Kiefer Sutherland. However, there was a headline touting the fact that CNN had "ONE HUNDRED STORIES ON BRITNEY SPEARS."

100 to 1. It is my opinion that Kiefer's problem is that he thinks he is Kiefer Sutherland. He is not Kiefer Sutherland. HE IS JACK BAUER!!

I went in to take a look at the headlines for the 100 Britney Spears stories. They were really dull. I'm going to list a few of the titles and then compare the headlines to what they would be if the same story was about Jack Bauer. I'm sure that you might have a few to add.

"'UPBEAT' BRITNEY SPEARS HITS THE DANCE STUDIO"

If it were Jack Bauer, it would read:

"'UPBEAT' JACK BAUER HITS THE DANCE INSTRUCTOR"

Do you get it now? Here's some more ...

"BRITNEY SPEARS LAPSES INTO A BRITISH ACCENT"

"JACK BAUER LAPSES INTO A COMA"

"PAPARAZZI CHASING BRITNEY ARRESTED"

"PAPARAZZI CHASING JACK BAUER IS TORTURED"

Don't you see now how much more interesting Kiefer Sutherland would be if he would just drop the Kiefer bit and go all out for Jack?

If so, there would never be headlines like this again.

"SPEARS RELEASE FROM JAIL CAUSES A RIOT"

"SUTHERLANDS RELEASE FROM JAIL NETS A YAWN"

They say that "Youth controls the market." Take a look at this line up. Which one do you find more interesting. 41 year old Jack Bauer - or - any one of these young whipersnappers?

TO HELP YOU DECIDE, MOUSE CLIQUE ON PICTURE TO MAKE LARGER

Be honest.

Stay Tuned

DO NOT TAKE THE LLOYD THAXTON TOUR

2008-01-17T08:13:00.000-08:00

Just a quick note and then you can go back down to "1968." I just discovered that The Movieland Directory, which tracks where Hollywood stars are living today, has added my name, address, and route to their, "Maps to the Stars."

Though overjoyed to find my name in their book of star locations, I was somewhat dismayed to find that the address they give is the one I moved into when I first arrived in LA 51 years ago. I moved out of this location 50 years ago. Obviously, no one in Hollywood noticed that fact.

I called some of my former neighbors to apologize for the hordes of paparazzi who were most likely staking out and terrorizing their wives, children and pets, only to find that NO ONE new has shown up except for a recently hired meter checker from the gas company (who had no idea who Lloyd Thaxton is).

Not believing this, I drove to the site myself, only to find one Dalmatian (out of a possible 101) sitting on the lawn. I was told that he had a spotted past and wasn't to be trusted with a camera. Besides, this dog was a mamarazzi and didn't have the balls for such an outrageous occupation (her name was Britney, by the way).

I called the people at "The Movieland Directory" to complain, but was told that I should be thankful I was included at all.

Yahoo, indeed. My ego has gotten up and gone.

Do you think I should move back?

Stay tuned.

NINETEEN SIXTY EIGHT

2008-01-14T17:04:00.001-08:00

In 1948, George Orwell wrote “1984.” It was a depiction of a frightening year, not unlike what was happening behind Russia's iron curtain in 1948, and predicted that the same thing would be happening by 1984, all over the world. As the 1984 date grew closer, many people were getting anxious as to whether Orwell’s novel was truly precognitive.

Fortunately the date came and went without the sky falling in and few people remembered anything at all unusual about the year 1984. That is, if they remember the date at all.

But everyone who was around in 1968 remembers that year quite well.

1968

In an LA Times article, January 5, 2008, Todd Gitlin, professor of journalism and sociology at Columbia University, wrote:

“The coming year (2008) will be chock full of 1968 commemorations.

“It was, after all, the year of the Tet offensive in Vietnam, the My Lai massacre, Columbia University's uprising, President Johnson's decision not to run for a second full term, Martin Luther King Jr.'s assassination, scores of subsequent riots, Robert F. Kennedy's assassination, the Chicago Democratic Convention riots, the Miss America protest in Atlantic City, Richard Nixon's "Southern Strategy" and election, -- not to mention Prague Spring, the French student uprising, the Soviet invasion of Czechoslovakia, and, in Mexico City, the massacre of protesting students and the black power salutes of Olympic athletes John Carlos and Tommie Smith.”

Now add to that, 1960 to 1968, which included: The assassination of President John F. Kennedy (1963), massive student demonstrations beginning in 1964 against the Vietnam War, the Civil Rights movement and riots (The Civil Rights Act was passed in 1964), the Watt’s Riots (1965), the riots on the Sunset Strip (1965), and, don't leave out, The Lloyd Thaxton Show (1961-1967).

Forget 1984, 1968 was, as Todd Gitlin put it, “the pivotal year in which the convulsions of a decade converged and the country slouched over the edge of a precipice.” Whoa Nellie!

There is no way one could forget where they were and what they were doing in 1968.

I was hosting the TV show Showcase ’68. It was a summer replacement for The Jerry Lewis Show on NBC.

The show came pretty close to causing a 1968 event all by itself; “The Showcase ’68 Berkley Riots.” Showcase ‘68 was a traveling talent show, somewhat like American Idol. During the summer it visited ten cities searching for and presenting new young professional talent. There were also special guest stars like Neil Diamond, Tammy Wynett, Bobby Vinton, Bobby Goldsboro, and Della Reese, who appeared throughout the 10-show series. The contestants included, among many others, Sly & The Family Stone and The Chambers Brothers.

THE CHAMBERS BROTHERS AT BERKLEY ON SHOWCASE '68

The first show we did was at The University of California at Berkeley. California in “The Greek,” Berkley’s cavernous outdoor amphitheater. Remember this was the 60s, and this was BERKELEY. During the pre-show set-up and rehearsal, the student audience started filing in. Berkley was the home of the SDS (Students for a Democratic Society) and their members chose to sit in the front rows right up against the stage. There was a hint of cannabis in the air and everyone was having a high time.

Just before the show was to start taping, the leader of the SDS suddenly stood up and said that NBC was exploiting the students. It seems like one of the flyers distributed before the event in order to get an audience, listed one of the contestants on the show, The Chambers Brothers. They had just released their first giant hit, “Time Has Come Today," and the students were under the impression that they were there to watch a concert featuring The Chamber Brothers.

When they found out it was a TV show and the Chambers Brothers were only contestants in a contest, they (sort of) rioted (more of a "hissy fit). They grabbed and tore up all the show's cue cards (I was speechless), stood and chanted "No show. No show!," and would not let the show continue unless NBC donated $1000 to the student union and that, after the TV show was finished taping, the Chambers Brothers would give a one hour concert just for them.

After much deliberation between NBC and the SDS, the producer of the show agreed to the $1000 donation and The Chambers Brothers to the concert and the show went on.

The Chambers Brothers won the contest at Berkley, but, as karma would have it, in the finals held in Columbus Ohio, they were beat out by none other than Sly and the Family Stone.

SLY AND THE FAMILY STONE

It was a very interesting summer.

But, what I REALLY remembered about 1968 is that it was on Showcase ’68 that I first met and dated my beautiful future wife, Barbara.

BARBARA AT BERKLEY ON SHOWCASE '68

In 1968, THAT was the date to remember.

And ... we lived happily ever after.

Stay tuned.

TOO OLD TO CAUSE ANY DAMAGE

2008-01-03T09:10:00.000-08:00

As I write this, it is January 1, 2008. HAPPY NEW YEAR! My day started out no different than all the days of 2007. I got up, popped a pop-tart in the toaster, poured myself a cup of coffee, and sat down to read the Los Angeles Times front to back. I still check CNN on the computer to get up to date on what happened during the last few hours, but my newspaper is my main man, not only for the news, but the story behind the news. I couldn't start my day without it (It doesn’t matter if I spill my coffee on the paper).

Today I discovered three articles that I just had to mention. Though they were completely unrelated, each one had to be written with the same state of mind. They just HAD to.

Article #1 was actually an editorial titled, "How Cliché." The hope of the editorial, as explained by the writer, was to "perform a public service by calling attention to a few "cringe-worthy turns of phrase that have been cluttering up the language in recent years." It was very cleverly written and one of the many clichés listed jumped right out at me, "THE YouTube GENERATION." The writer is tired of this cliché and suggests it be changed to, "Young People." File that one away as we go to ...

Article #2: In the same LA Times issue, there was the story, "The Reel Geezers," written by Patrick Goldstein.

The "Reel Geezers" are Marcia Nasatir and Lorenzo Semple, who have a popular movie revue show on YouTube.

Lorenzo was one of Hollywood's top screenwriters in the 1970s. He helped write movies for virtually every star of the day, notably Warren Beatty ("The Parallax View"), Robert Redford ("Three Days of the Condor"), Steve McQueen ("Papillon") and Paul Newman ("The Drowning Pool").

Marcia, is no slouch either. She was a longtime agent, pioneering woman production executive, and producer of such films as "The Big Chill" and "Hamburger Hill."

Now digest this: Lorenzo is 84 years old and Marcia is 81. So, what about the suggestion that the cliché, " YouTube Generation" be changed to "Young People?" If it's the exception that makes the rule, the "YouTube Generation" is not just "Young People" anymore.

Article #3 was about the pardoning and recent release of 77 year-old Sara Jane Moore. If you remember, Moore was given a life sentence in the 1975 attempted assassination of President Gerald R. Ford.

OK, here's the tie in between the presidential attempted assassination article, the Reel Geezers and the cliché, "YouTube Generation." James Hewitt, the now-retired federal public defender who handled Moore's case, said, "The public should not be alarmed by her release from prison. She is pretty close to becoming an old lady. She is probably too old to cause any damage."

TOO OLD TO CAUSE ANY DAMAGE?

A native of Charleston, W. Va., Moore was an on-again, off-again FBI informant who became enmeshed in radical politics after moving to the Bay Area. A peripheral player rather than a leader, she volunteered to help the Symbionese Liberation Army, the extreme leftist band that kidnapped newspaper heiress Patricia Hearst.

TOO OLD TO CAUSE ANY DAMAGE?

Put all three of these articles together and you have a very strong case to get rid of the most cringe-worthy cliché that has been really cluttering up the language in recent years …

“TOO OLD.”

I was never so proud the day President Ronald Reagan stood at the Berlin wall and proclaimed, "Ich bin ein Geezer."

Stay tuned.

MY VISIT TO FLORENCE

2007-12-19T15:25:00.000-08:00

Wait! Wait! Wrong Florence!

Some time ago I did an interview on "The Florence Henderson Show" on the RETIREMENT LIVING CHANNEL. Florence does a terrific show and has some great guests (Hey, she had me, didn't she?) You can watch the interview right NOW (Over and over again) in the privacy of your very own computer.

You'll see a few clips from my long awaited DVD and ME, live, right there next to FLORENCE HENDERSON.

TO WATCH THE INTERVIEW CLICK BELOW

Thank you Florence Henderson for having me on your show.

Stay tuned.

STUFF HAPPENS

2007-12-13T13:59:00.001-08:00

I seem to keep veering away from my Rock & Roll roots on this blog. You have to remember, The Lloyd Thaxton Show represented 10 years of my TV life. I spent 18 years producing and directing Fight Back-with David Horowitz on NBC, which was partially responsible for my latest career as co-author of a self-help book.

The book Stuff Happens - and then you fix it (originally titled Shit Happens, cleaned up as $#&@ Happens before Stuff won out), was published by John Wiley and Sons in 2003. It was co-written by John Alston, a remarkable motivational speaker (and remarkable motivational friend). My very own personal copy is enclosed in a glass case on my office wall with the words, "IN AN EMERGENCY-BREAK GLASS." I have been tempted many times.

Right after the book was published, Donald Rumsfeld made the title immortal when he used it to explain away the uncontrolled looting that went on at the beginning of the U.S. occupation of Iraq. I sent him a copy of the book, but never heard back. This was foolishness on Donald's part because the book would have told him how to fix it. It's a fact that stuff happens to everyone every once in a while and, according to one of the book's Reality Rules, "It's not what happens to you that's important, it's how you respond to what happens." Rummey (sic) did not respond very well and, as you know, he is history. He should have broken the glass. Had he done so, he might have been King of Iraq by now.

The reason I bring all of this up is because of a marvelous book, I'll Be In My Trailer, written by feature film director John Badham (Saturday Night Fever, War Games, Stake Out, Point of No Return, Nick of Time) & Craig Modderno. John called the other night. Wow, John Badham calling me? No! He was calling my wife Barbara. Barbara worked on two Badham films and he was calling from the set of a film he was doing in Canada just to say hello. HELLO!

John’s book, I'll Be In My Trailer - The Creative Wars Between Directors & Actors is fantastic: a must-read for anyone who is considering a career in the movies, either as a director OR as an actor. It explains how a director deals with the endless joust between director and actor for control, recognition and respect? This is something that isn't taught in film school. And, with all the great behind-the-scenes stories experienced by John Badham, it's also a fun- read for anyone interested in how movies are made. That certainly includes me.
Check it out. I’d love to hear from all you cinemaphile cliquers on what you think of it. You’ll find me in my trailer.

(CLICK HERE TO GO TO I'LL BE IN MY TRAILER)

And, while you're in the Mouse Cliquer mode, check out Stuff Happens - And Then You Fix It.

(CLICK HERE TO GO TO STUFF HAPPENS)

It was written by two other nice guys.

Lloyd Thaxton & John Alston

Question of the day: If you were the director of a movie, how would you handle an actor that wouldn't take your direction?

Stay tuned.

HERE'S LOOKING AT YOU KID

2007-12-05T15:25:00.000-08:00

I’m ashamed to say that I don’t watch a lot of shows on television. For a guy who spent over 50 years in the “biz” (thousands of TV shows), that is a shameful confession. On the other hand, I did one (ONLY ONE?) movie (The Patsy), and feature films became my favorite visual entertainment. I remember the first time I ever saw a feature film on TV, I was mesmerized. It was so unbelievable that one could actually sit at home and WATCH AN ENTIRE MOVIE.

Here’s something that will blow your movie watching mind. In the early days of TV, the promise of seeing an “entire” movie was not always true. Movies, with their widely different running times, created problems for local television programming staffs. For example, what does one do with a movie that has a running time of 1 hour and 30-minutes and it has to fit into a 1 hour and 30-minute program slot with 12 1-minutes commercial breaks? You won’t believe this, but some stations just KEPT THE MOVIE RUNNING while the commercials were playing. Made the movie fit in perfectly.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

I said you wouldn't believe it. In the late 50s I was staff announcer at KCOP-TV in Los Angeles and I will swear to the fact that this was a very common practice. But, you know what was the most unbelievable part? The audience never seemed to figure it out. Many did suspect that the movie was leaving out some important points, like the time where the star was killed and everyone wondered what happened to him, but, they watched anyway. People were so hungry for TV programming in those days, they would watch the test pattern (if you're too young to remember test patterns, let me tell you they were really neat to watch).

I got on this subject of watching movies on TV because I think I have invented a new movie surfing technique that I call the “TV Movie Roulette Wheel.” It works like this. After dinner I go into the den and turn on the set. I take my remote and start at the bottom of the movie channel listing. I just start spinning the wheel (clicking the remote). When I find a movie that interests me (Criteria for "interests me:" A great movie I’ve already seen many times), I stop, settle back, and watch it to the end. I don’t have to see the beginning because I already know it by heart. Now, of course to make this work, you have to have a very long list of favorite movies so you are never disappointed in finding just the right one. A movie you know so well you can lip-sync the dialogue along with the actors.

Example. A few nights ago I hit the jackpot when the wheel stopped at Absolute Power, with Clint Eastwood. This is a real thriller and I never tire of watching it. After I had watched about ten minutes, my wife Barbara came in to the room and said, Absolute Power? When did it start?” I said “Who cares?” Barbara sat down and we watched it to the end (for about the tenth time). Great film.

But, my all time roulette movie favorite is Casablanca. If I land on that movie, there is no way I can possibly turn it off. I know every line. At the end of the movie when Claude Reins walks through the fog with Humphrey Bogart, I can't help lip-syncing "Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship."

LOVE THAT BOGEY!

Speaking of Bogey. Our unbelievably wonderful parakeet says so clearly, “Here’s looking at you kid.” Then he says, "My name is Humphrey Bogart." What do we call our little fine feathered person? "Bogey.”

"MY NAME IS HUMPHREY BOGART"

The original Die Hard is also a must-stay-with-it-to-the-end favorite. I remember seeing that movie with Barbara at a screening on the 20th Century-Fox movie lot before it was released. After watching the skyscraper in the film almost completely destroyed, we left the lot, turned the corner, and there it was ... the same building; still standing right there in Century City. And, without a dent in sight. As we drove by I couldn't help but imagine machine gun fire coming from the top. I think of the movie every time I drive by that building. Hooray for Hollywood!

I admit that coming in at the middle of a movie dates me a bit. Back when I was a kid in Toledo, Ohio and went to movies with my parents or my buddies, we never (EVER) planned on coming in at the beginning of a movie. You went to a movie when you went to a movie and just walked in and sat down. You would see the movie to the end and then wait through a newsreel, a cartoon, the coming attractions and sometimes a Flash Gordon serial, AND, a second FULL feature, before the original movie came back on. You watched that movie until someone in the group said, “This is where we came in.” You stood up, excused yourself, and left. Does any one remember doing that? Does anyone ever say, “This is where we came in” anymore.” Man! Am I getting nostalgic, or what?

Hey! While I'm on the subject, remember the Drive In Theater? Ever drive away and pull off the speaker ? (CLICK HERE FOR THE USUAL WARNING).

I should do a blog on the drive-in theater. Got some great stories. Later, perhaps.

HERE'S LOOKING AT YOU KID

I’m ashamed to say that I don’t watch a lot of television shows …

"This is where we came in."

Stay tuned.

(NEED A SNACK? CLICK HERE)

ME? WORRY?

2007-11-25T13:49:00.001-08:00

I’m going to do something a little different in this posting. There will be no pictures of celebrities or remembrances of the good life in the 60s. Just this once, I’m putting on my pundit hat (or beard) and will pontificate for about the next 400 words.

If you're searching for a good scare, this story might just be the most frightening you have ever read.

On Saturday (November 24th, 2007), I was reading an op-ed column in the LA Times written by William Ratliff, a research fellow at the Independent Institute in Oakland, California and at the Hoover Institution at Stanford University. His subject was “Venezuela’s path to self-destruction caused by voters handing President Hugo Chavez the power to turn their country into a dictatorship." In his opening remarks, my mind couldn’t help but make a one-word change regarding his subject's protagonist. It simply switched “Chavez” with the more recognizable name, “Bush.”

I don’t know about you, but it seems to me that President George W. Bush has already been our President FOREVER! And, when I watch the presidential debates go on and on, I can’t help but imagine that is how it is all going to turn out. The debates will continue to go on and on and on and so will Bush.

So when I read Mr. Ratliff’s opening paragraph, a ghostly name change kept popping up in my head like an omen of horrific nightmares to come.

“On Dec. 2, Venezuelans (Americans) will be asked to vote on a whopping 69 constitutional amendments that would greatly reduce the country's democratic governance, strip citizens of still more individual liberties and thus expand President Chavez’s (Bush’s) power even beyond what it is today. The sad reality is that voters will probably approve the amendments, as Chavez’s (Bush’s) opponents have been bumbling around, discredited, disorganized and intimidated.

One of the most disturbing ballot items would allow Chavez (Bush) to run for president as often as he wishes and make it more difficult for voters to recall a president. He could become, in effect, president for life.”

BOO!

Stay tuned

EDITORS NOTE: The opening picture of Lloyd Thaxton was taken from a recent interview given to film maker Thomas Duncan for his documentary on the surfing scene of the 50s and 60s. The second picture is from the official presidential painting which will most likely be placed on top of the capital dome.

THE ANSWERS TO THE NEARLY-GREAT SPY CAMERA CONTEST

2007-11-17T16:06:00.001-08:00

I started out the original posting of this story by telling about my contest survey, which showed that the most popular segments of my blog, "are all those little photo contests I've been challenging you with from time to time." Well, this one (not unlike many of those presidential candidate poles) turned out to be wrong. Like the nation's eligible voters, many tuned in to take a look, but only two people (Yes, two people. Not 100,000 ) voted. Two (count 'em) actually made the effort to guess the identities of my spy camera friends. Was it just too hard? Maybe. But, who said contests were supposed to be easy? (EDITOR'S NOTE: Voting for President is really easy)

Now, I'm going to test the reliability of the supposedly next most popular segments of my blog:

THE ANSWERS

(1)

Left to right, the handsome actor and truly nice person, ROBERT WAGNER. My dream girl poker partner and talented singer-actress, POLLY BERGEN. And, the late, great King of the road, ROGER MILLER. A trio to dream about.

(2)

I have to admit this was a tough one. MATT DENNIS. Who is Matt Dennis? He was a lounge singer and band leader who just happened to write little ditties like: "Angel Eyes,"" Everything happens to me,"" Let’s Get Away From it All,"" The Night We called it a Day,"" Violets for your Furs,” and "Will You Still Be Mine." Matt was one of my favorites. He is gone now and I felt I owed him a tribute on my blog. Bless you Matt.

(3)

Here was one of the easy ones. JACK LEMMON. I took this at a friendly little poker game. Jack not only took all of my money. He kept me laughing as he raked in the chips. What would you have bet to stay in the game with Jack Lemmon?

(4)

MARILYN AND ALLEN BERGMAN, one of the most successful songwriting collaborations in an era of great popular music.

Think 16 Academy Award nominations, multiple Emmys, Grammys, and three Oscars for "The Windmills of Your Mind", "The Way We Were", and the score for "Yentl. And like the Energizer bunny, they just keep going and going.

(5)

ROGER WILLIAMS. I will always cherish the gift this musical icon once gave me; a practice piano keyboard that made no sounds. He did this so I could practice finger syncing his hit recordings. Named the greatest selling Pianist in history by Billboard magazine, Roger Williams has an astounding 18 Gold and Platinum albums to his credit. Autumn Leaves stands as the greatest selling piano recording of all time. And, he gave great Christmas parties.

(6)

Here's another easy one. DON KNOTTS. He was one of the smartest actors around. How smart was he? So smart that he was able to convince all of you that he was a REAL goofus. Very high on my nice guy chart.

(7)

MARY TYLER MOORE and her husband GRANT TINKER. I took this picture at the LA Griffith Park train museum during a party celebrating Roger Miller's appearance at the outdoor Greek Theater.

(8)

SANDY KOUFAX? Yes, Sandy Koufax. This LA Dodger's great pitched a perfect game in Major League Baseball against the Chicago Cubs at Dodger Stadium on September 9, 1965. Koufax, by retiring 27 consecutive batters without allowing any to reach base, became the sixth pitcher of the modern era to throw a perfect game. The game was Koufax's fourth no-hitter, breaking Bob Feller's Major League record of three (and later broken by Nolan Ryan, in 1981). Koufax struck out 14 opposing batters, the most ever recorded in a perfect game. In short, "27 up, 27 down". He went on to winning many more games, including this one played out in the Thaxton casino.

(9)

Could that be HENRY MANCINI spotted outside a restaurant in Hollywood by paparazzi wannabe, L. Thaxton? Henry was a guest many times on the LT Show. This musical genius won a record number of Grammy awards, including a Grammy Lifetime Achievement Award in 1995. His best-known works are the jazz-idiom theme to The Pink Panther film series and Moon River. But, you already know all that.

(10)

Last, but certainly not least, the late, great actor-director JOHN CASSAVETES. This was taken at the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion during a wonderful dinner before a ballet we were attending. With him was his beautiful and talented wife GENA ROWLANDS.

What made the night so memorable was that we all had such a wonderful time we repeated the experience the very next night. Same dinner (but a different ballet). My wife Barbara and I will never forget those two magical evenings.

The sad thing about all this remembering of friends is how many have "the late" preceding their names. A cue for all of us to start communicating again with all those friends who are still alive and kicking. I'm writing this on Thanksgiving day 2007. How about picking up the phone right now and wishing an old friend a Happy Thanksgiving (even if Thanksgiving is over).

And a Happy Thanksgiving to all of my readers. May all your days be filled with joy.

And let me know if you want any more of these photo contests. Other wise ...

I'll be watching you (and cliquing).

Stay tuned

THE 12-YEAR-OLD TV PRODUCER

2007-11-05T15:39:00.000-08:00

Let's hope that before you read this the Writer's Strike is over.

I would like to say a few words about youth. OK, three words: “ILY ... I Love Youth” (a nice play on words there). What brought this on? A few days ago, October 31, 2007, I put on my Lloyd Thaxton Halloween mask and gave an interview on the Florence Henderson Show.

The FLORENCE HENDERSON SHOW is a new show on The Retirement Living Channel. Other guests on this particular show included one of my favorite motion picture directors ...

Gary Marshall (Gary’s “Pretty Woman,” being one of my favorite movies of all time).

Also, there was Milt Larson, who, in the 60s, created the famed Hollywood Magic Castle. Milt taught me a fantastic card trick.

I could show you how to do the trick, but then I would have to kill you.

Bob Newhart was on the show the day before ...

... and the show following ours featured, Carol Burnett.

What a great line-up of guests. "But wait a minute," you say, "None of these guests, including me, really fits into this story." “The Retirement Living Channel” yes, but not a blog titled,

“THE 12-YEAR-OLD PRODUCER”

Well, if you were there in the studio with me, you would see how it all fits. On camera were all us “Oldies, but Goodies.” But out there, behind the camera, were all the 12-year old members of the crew and production staff.

Let me explain. My title “The 12-year Old Producer” comes from the many tales I’ve heard from movie and TV writers who say, after a “pitch” meeting, that the producers all looked 12 years old. Meaning, that they were very young and don’t understand or appreciate older folk’s ideas very much. “It is like pitching my idea to someone else's grand kids,” one older writer friend told me. Ageism can sometimes be brutal when one has to face it. But, life moves on and we have to move with it.

To be a little more realistic, the Florence Henderson production staff really didn’t look like 12-year olds; they were more like twenty-somethings. But, more important, they were the most efficient group of “youngins” I had ever worked with. They were, not only highly capable and truly appreciative of all their guests, not one of them called me “grampa.”

I want to especially thank Amber Engelmann, Daresha Kyi, Babette Canton, Lisa Sutton, and Stephanie McCanles. Florence Henderson, you have a great young and loyal production staff there.

You Mouse Cliquers out there should enjoy my segment on the show. It is mostly about The Lloyd Thaxton Show and does show some clips.

The show I was on will not air until December 2007. I’ll let you know the exact date when they get around to telling me. It’s possible that they have already done that.

If so, … I FORGOT!

Are you OK with that?

Stay tuned.

FROM 0 TO 80 IN 30

2007-10-20T12:23:00.000-07:00

It all started a couple of months ago when I was asked to speak at LA’s downtown Jonathan Club, a very old and prestigious men and women’s social club.

When my wife, Barbara, told her aunt my speech was titled, “The Life Of Lloyd Thaxton," her aunt said, “I hate to be blunt, but what’s so astounding about the life of Lloyd Thaxton?”

Blunt? Yes! But, a very good question.

I considered the invitation quite an honor, especially after I read the list of former speakers which included Presidents Ronald Reagan, Bill Clinton, and Richard Nixon. Wow! That previous list does make my life seem somewhat less than “astounding.”

I looked up some pictures of these great men just to see how I would compare. This painting of President Clinton was quite intimidating. He looked so … Presidential.

The picture of a young President Nixon shows a man of great … eh … potential. Oh, what stories he must have told.

I was beginning to get a little nervous. Do the words “So What” strike a familiar note?

You see, I had never really done a formal speech before. You know, like, sitting at a head table, being formally introduced, standing up, and walking to the dais to face some of LA’s top business executive men and women. The topic, “The Life Of Lloyd Thaxton” was their choice. What could they possibly be expecting?

I finally looked at a picture of Ronald Reagan. He, like me, was in show business, but he still managed to look presidential. Especially with that American flag draped all around him.

Then I looked at my picture.

No way. I'll never be able to pull this off. Then I looked again at Reagan.

I started to prepare my speech.

Fade to a few days before this momentous event. While sitting around during a break in the editing of my DVD at Research Video (CLICK HERE FOR THEIR WEBSITE), One of the younger editors asked me if I had ever done TV in the 50s. That question started an hour of Thaxton story telling. I discovered that I had experienced a lot of fascinating and funny behind-the-scenes stuff that was totally unknown to the majority of TV audiences.

It was on the way home that I had an epiphany. I realized that that little editing room bull session WAS my life and the telling of those stories was my speech. I was now ready to trot.

Being a breakfast affair, most of the club members had day jobs to go to, so they gave me thirty minutes.

I re-titled my speech: “The Life Of Lloyd Thaxton: 0 to 80 in 30 minutes.”

I really can’t prove whether or not the speech was a success, however last week I was invited to speak again. This time it was to a full house at the LA Rotary Club (LA5) lunch (can a dinner be far behind?). It was there that I realized most of the members of both clubs fell into the 49 to 60 year old category, which just so happens to be the average age of the Lloyd Thaxton Show fan base. They were highly successful men and women who unselfishly spent a lot of their time working with many different charity organizations. Yet, they all seemed so young and vital and refused to “act their age.” I am beginning to love my new career.

I don’t know whose quote this is, but it surely is a good one: “How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you were?” I ask myself this question almost every day. It’s what helps keep me “Old Fogy” proof . I think it was at the Berlin Wall that President Reagan said "Ich Bin Ein Fogy"(but, don't quote me).

Along that vein, I recently received this email and picture from Larry Tamblyn of The Standells.

“Well, the reviews are in: The general consensus is that the Standell’s accapella rendition of the national anthem (in four part harmony), performed at Game 1 of the American League playoffs, was pretty damn good for a bunch of old rock & rollers.

"From left to right are all of the original Standells, Gary Lane, Dick Dodd, Tony Valentino, and me. The anthem came complete with a well-timed flyover by four F-16's, followed immediately by a performance of Dirty Water. Aside from performing before a wild crowd of 36,000, one of the biggest thrills was meeting the four pilots afterward (along with many pilots who just returned from active duty in Iraq). One of them looked young enough to be my grandson!”

The Standells were guests on The Lloyd Thaxton Show 45 years ago and here they are still bringing audiences to their feet.

I wonder how old these guys would be if they didn’t know how old they were?

Stay young.

WHO ARE ALL THESE PEOPLE? THE ANSWERS

2007-10-07T16:15:00.000-07:00

About a week ago I put nine pictures up for identification. These pictures were of guests I had on The Lloyd Thaxton Show and I had asked that my Mouse Cliquers write their answers in the comment section.

I started with the picture at the top of the page. I thought this was a tough one, but everyone got it right away (How? I’ll never know). Of all the pictures I have, this one is closest to my heart. It’s a picture of a club my mom and dad belonged to at their church in Toledo, Ohio (That’s the Collingwood Methodist Church in the background). All the people you see in the picture were close friends of my parents and I grew up knowing each and every one of them.

This particular day, they had asked the younger members of the group to bring their kids so they could be included in the picture. I was working that day at WSPD-TV and couldn’t attend. But, my mom wanted me to be in the picture. So, just before the photographer clicked the shutter, she whipped out a small photo of me and held it so I would be included in the photograph. Is that neat or what?

(1)

The picture of me was so small who would of thought it would ever be noticed. I discovered it only a few years ago myself. And, I did that, by using a magnifying glass. What a great mom I had. She just wouldn’t let me be excluded from the larger photograph. That’s my dad just above her to the right, partially hidden by the women with the hat.

And everybody who entered this (prizeless) contest got it. My mom would be so thrilled.

(2)

Everyone also got this one. Johnny Rivers. He had just finished performing “Secret Agent Man.” Johnny was a regular guest on the show and is a good friend. He shared my enthusiasm for Motorcycles and I spent many a night at the Whisky A-Go-Go on Sunset Boulevard, watching him rock the night away.

(4)

One of my other favorite guests (there were many) was Petula Clark. She was so uplifting (I didn’t have to wear lifts to stand next to her) and talented. Petula was presented with her Grammy that day for “I Know A Place,” right on the show. What an honor.

(5)

Bobby “Boris” Picket was on the show almost every Halloween performing his monster hit, “The Monster Mash.” What a fun person he was. His fans loved him.

(6)

Yes, this is, “The Real Don Steele” (without glasses). In my opinion, Don was the best radio DJ in his time. He once said of the 60s sound, “Look, you take the Motown sound and the British Invasion and you throw in Elvis and Roy Orbison, and you have a music mix that's hard to beat at any time or any place."

The picture is from a KHJ radio Top 30 promotion booklet. I had asked him on the show to identify Tina Delgodo (is ALIVE! … ALIVE!). He wouldn’t say. Don died in 1997 and he took the mystery with him. Not even his wife knew. Long live “The Real Don Steele.”

(7)

You are right. This is Bobby Vee. He had a lot of top 10 hits and was a wonderful guest.

(8)

More fun than a barrel of monkeys, is a stage full of Turtles. I always looked forward to, not only their talent, but also their sense of humor. A fan once said of me, “When I first started watching your show I thought you were making fun of Rock and Roll. Then I discovered you were making Rock and Roll fun.” The Turtles were a big part of that fun. They are still performing all across the country.

(9)

Finally, we have Little Anthony & The Imperials. “Little” was a key word to use with young artists of the 60s. Little Anthony, Little Richard, Little Stevie Wonder and others grew out of their names, but stayed on to keep their fans enthralled. Actually I was “Little Lloyd Thaxton,” but I never grew out of it.

OK, that’s it. Thanks to all who entered my … WAIT! WAIT!

WHAT HAPPENED TO #3 ???

Well, it seems #3 is still an unsolved mystery. When I found this picture in my files, it had “Martha and the Vandellas” written on it. However, forty years later, I’m just not too sure of that anymore.

Why? It is the only picture on the list that had so many different answers. The Toys, The Chiffons, The Cookies, Martha and the Vandellas, The Jaynettes, and Bob B. Soxx & The Blue Jeans.

I’ve Googled pictures of all these groups and just can’t reach a conclusion. I even tried Wikipedia with no luck.

Martha, are you still out there? Any Vandellas around that can break this impasse? How about it, Jaynettes? Or, a Toy, perhaps? Cookies, anyone?

Stay tuned.

NOBODY LIKES A BADMOUTHER

2007-09-24T16:04:00.000-07:00

I’m not all that familiar with Britney Spears serious show business side. The only thing I really know about her is what I read while in line at the supermarket. And it all seems to be bad. Bad driver. Bad Drinker. Bad barber (“Just a little off the top please”). Bad dresser (“I see Paris. I see France. I don’t see Britney’s underpants”). And, a bad mother.

The only time I actually saw Britney perform was while sitting in an airport restaurant and she was on the TV. It was a music video and I thought she looked quite talented and sexy. She had all the famous Michael Jackson steps down pat and she was terrific. My first thought was that this person is going to be a big star.

What happened to this talented person?

It appears she might have succumbed to an extremely catchy malady, which preys on young performers called “Celebritymenandgitus.” This causes a celebrity to become bald and act ugly way before their time.

I can overlook most of her transgressions. Many a person has taken a fall and climbed back to redeem themselves (praise the re-hab). However, there is one thing that I cannot forgive. Britney Spears is a bad MOUTHER.

Now I know, the transgression I speak of happened some time ago on September 9, 2007, but I just can’t get it out of my head. It was the MTV Video Music Awards and, according to the reports, “she appeared aloof, uncertain of her moves and she was unable to convincingly lip-sync her own hit, “Gimme More.”

Years ago, the definition for the word, “lip-sync,” was “The mouthing of records.”

Thus I make my claim that Britney Spears problem is that she is a BAD MOUTHER.

Most of her fans are pissed that she was MOUTHING one of her songs in the first place. Chill out! There is nothing wrong with mouthing a record. You just have to be good at it.

I did it for years and no one wrote bad things about me. Of course I didn’t shave my head or force my kids to drive the car. However, I have to admit that many times I did leave the house without wearing panties. But, that was a guy thing.

And, I was a good mouther.

The biggest artists in the world mouth recordings. They do it on music videos, movies, concerts and TV shows. Why do they do this? Try this some time: jump rope and sing. Tough stuff. No one wants to hear a person trying to dance and sing who’s out of breath.

How many of you have wreathed in anguish listening to a celebrity try to sing the star spangled banner at a football or baseball game while 50,000 fans are holding their hearts trying to keep it from stopping. Whitney Houston's version of The Star Spangled Banner, sung at Super Bowl 25 in 1991, is considered the best ever done. She really nailed it. How? According to Wikipedia, she performed the song using a pre-recorded version. In other words, she mouthed it. If so, it didn’t take anything away from the performance. It was awesome.

CLICK HERE TO WATCH

However, Britney Spears’ recent bad mouthing reminded me of the comedian who had a recent nose job. He said, after blowing one of his lines, “I had my nose fixed and now my mouth doesn’t work.”

Britney Spears, you are a very talented young lady.

Your many fans are still behind you and you can still get your career back in sync. You can even keep on mouthing your records. But, whatever you do, don’t get your nose fixed.

Look what happened to Michael Jackson?

Stay tuned.

BETWEEN IRAQ AND A HARRIED PLACE

2007-09-05T10:33:00.000-07:00

The purpose of my blog is “Stories and insight in the world of showbiz and beyond.” If you will bear with me on this one particular posting, I would like to delve a little further into the “beyond” category.

A couple of mornings ago, I was listening to a radio talk show host who was discussing how he felt about celebrities expressing their opinions about the war in Iraq. For the 4,345,567th time, this particular host really pissed me off. Why do I keep listening? The truth is out. I like to yell at my radio.

This radio host (you all know who he is) stated, with a hint of hissing sarcasm, that celebrities should keep their political opinions to themselves because, “they don’t know what the hell they are talking about.” He seemed to forget that he is no more than a radio talk-show celebrity himself; yet, he just keeps on talking the talk.

Regardless of what Mr. Talk-show host says, I, a charter member and Head Cheese of the World-Wide Celebrity Mouse Clique, hereby offer my opinion in this WAR of words. I offer this with absolutely no doubt in my mind that I know what the hell I am talking about.

The Iraq war has been going on longer than World War II and we are still trying to secure the beach. Wouldn’t you think that we would at least be in Paris by now?

Most of us admit that we are in Iraq because of a lot of really bad decisions. Unfortunately, the cat is already out of the bag, the horse is out of the barn, and Pandora has stepped out of her box. We just can’t put everything back by packing up and leaving; At least not without a good plan. And, heaven forbid, we cannot … CANNOT … choose anyone close to the same leaders who botched the first plan to make the new plan.

In a well run business, if the big boss makes enough mistakes, the owners not only toss out this person, but anyone who had anything to do with his or her mistakes. Unfortunately, our constitution is kind of murky on how we can make any quick changes. By the time any of this type of action passes through the courts, Election Day will already be here.

However, it isn’t too late to start making your voting list titled:

“WHO I DO NOT WANT RUNNING MY COUNTRY FROM NOW ON.”

Just about every republican now in power is on my list. Not that they are all bad guys, but, damn, we don’t want any of them back. There were a lot of nice guys on the Titanic crew, but would you want them at the helm of your next pleasure cruise vacation? It’s time for a crew change.

In “Pirates of the Caribbean,” the term “walk the plank” refers to a form of punishment where the bad guy is forced to walk off the end of a plank and drop into the sea.

In politics, the term "walk the plank" refers to a situation where leaders of a political party force rank-and-file members to make a potentially career-ending vote for the sake of party unity and passage of priority legislation.

The republican plank today is just a continuation of talking the same old talk and walking the same old walk and they’ve been walking on their plank long enough.

IT'S TIME TO PUSH THEM OFF

Stay tuned.

HEY DUDE? WHAT'S WITH THE JACKET AND TIE?

2007-08-21T17:34:00.000-07:00

There are many reasons why I want to write this story. I can’t help but be impressed with the way the kids looked on The Lloyd Thaxton Show. Our dress code was jackets and ties for the guys and “party dresses” for the gals. Watching clips during the editing of the LTDVD, I find it amazing how dignified the teens looked while having the time of their lives.

A jacket and tie for men (and boys) has always been considered dressing for success. You won’t find any one of the Presidential candidates debating on TV without a jacket and tie.

And even though they often wear shorts, jeans or sweats under the desk, your successful male news anchor always displays a jacket and tie from the waist up. I know. I’ve been there, seen that.

Sonny and Cher, back in the 60s, set their own dress code for Rock & Roll. Sonny even got himself thrown out of a popular restaurant because his dress code and the restaurants didn’t see eye to eye. That was actually good for Sonny. It inspired his only single hit, “Laugh At Me.”

However, years later Sonny put on a jacket and tie and laughed all the way to Mayor of Palm Springs. California, and from there, all the way to a United States Congressman.

When a “dress code” is mentioned, it most always means men must wear a jacket with a tie. Here’s my theory: Men just don’t have a clue as to how to dress. Women, on the other hand, usually check out the latest fashion magazines (and each other) before venturing out into important public or private functions.

Without a dress code, this is what happens much too often. Women: pretty basic black dresses. Men: T-shirts. It would be interesting to be there to see a young man picking up his new girl friend on their first date. How does the girl hold back the disappointed expression on her face? After spending hours shopping for just the right dress and more hours making herself look beautiful, the young man at the door most often looks like he just grabbed the first thing hanging on the back of the door.

I have been given the honor of speaking next month at a prestigious club in downtown LA. It is consistently named by national speaker's organizations as one of the top 10 speaker's forums in the U.S. A sampling includes Presidents Bill Clinton, Ronald Reagan and Richard Nixon; U.S. Senators; City Mayors, astronauts and authors; religious, civic and community leaders; university presidents; major coaches; Fortune 500 CEOs and other news makers. I wouldn't be the least surprised that when the chairperson introduces me, everyone shouts, "SO WHAT."

Even with all the high-powered speakers that have gone before me, the Club has never told me what to speak about. The only caveat, “You must wear a coat and a tie.” I am almost certain that, even though there is also a women’s dress code at the club, they never have to tell a women speaker what to wear. For successful women, proper dress codes are built in at birth.

Let’s face it, we men are not as smart as women. That’s why we need dress codes. It’s like your mom telling you how to dress (and even, if your mom was like my mom, knowing how to tie your tie).

As with the Lloyd Thaxton Show, I’m a big believer in school uniforms. This is a dress code that makes a person look like they are working their way toward success. After all, that is what all those candidates for President are wearing, UNIFORMS!

Face it, it's not just happenstance that those highly successful bosses of yours in the front office are referred to as “Suits?”

Stay Tuned.

WHEN YOU WISH UPON A STAR

2007-08-06T15:43:00.000-07:00

Before you start congratulating me, what you see above is not my star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. This was benevolently computer imaged for me by a good friend, who I suspect felt sorry for me. He knew I didn’t have my own star. For displaying this fake star, I’ll probably get hauled into jail by honorary Hollywood Mayor Johnny Grant and treated to my own free celebrity mug shot. I would welcome the honor of joining the Hollywood Mug Shots of Fame.

Actually, I can save them money and time by providing my own picture.

Is this a fantastic mug shot or what?

I’m on this subject because our daughter Jennifer Weatherly (the former #1 country singer in Switzerland) was visiting Barbara and I from her home on Maui. At the same time, three of her Geneva girl friends (ages 19 to 21) were visiting LA and Jennifer wanted to be in LA to show them the sights.

One afternoon while they were out visiting world famous Hollywood Boulevard, Jennifer called me on her cell. The girls had asked if I had a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. They wanted to go see it and were quite disappointed when I said no. I’m sure that, in their eyes, my fame went down several steps on their stairway of the stars.

I’ve been asked that question so many times over the years. When I answer “no,” the next question is always “Why?” And, my answer is always the same, “Because no one has ever offered me one.”

Now don’t you go feeling sorry for me. I’m not the only one with a half–century in Hollywood without a star. Clint Eastwood comes to mind. Clint Eastwood is a huge movie star, an Oscar winning director and has been around for as long as I can remember. Here’s a puzzler: Gene Autry has five stars. Pat Boone has three, and there’s a star for Bugs Bunny, Godzilla, Kermit the Frog and Woody the Woodpecker. So why is there no star for Clint Eastwood? You’ll have to ask him. He may say the same as me. No one ever offered him one. Or, heaven forbid, he turned it down.

Several years back I was invited to Casey Kasem’s Hollywood Star celebration party the day he was honored. If anyone deserved a star, it was Casey. But, man, he had invited over 500 of his closest friends to enjoy a gigantic feast and drinks inside a huge tent set up right on the Boulevard. Celebrities milled around while several rock bands played and Casey’s financial advisor sweated up a storm. All I could think of was, “Please don’t offer me a star. I can’t afford it.”

Are you aware that when you are offered a star you must agree to (1) show up for the ceremony (2) celebrate in style and (3) pay $25.000. Helloooo!

Look. Having a star on the walk of fame is a great honor. And most stars do not have to pony up the $25,000 themselves. A movie, TV studio or radio station usually pays the tab to promote an upcoming event. But, I’m perfectly happy with the fact that my HEAD is on display in the Hollywood Wax Museum storage room.

Curator and chief wax artist Ken Horn in his Head Shop

At one time, of course, my head was connected to a body and displayed on a Lloyd Thaxton Show set in the middle of the museum. When the Lloyd Thaxton Show went off … so did my head. You might say it was like” The Tale of One City.”

Want a kick? The next time you’re walking along and enjoying the stars on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, take a quick turn into the Hollywood Wax Museum. Ask someone if you can hold Lloyd Thaxton’s head. I did it once and it was a fantastic feeling.

By the way, no one recognized me. Most did recognize the head I was holding. The wax figure being more life-like than I am.

When you run into a celebrity (there are so many of them in Hollywood you can’t help but run into one), instead of asking if he or she has a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, ask if they have their head in the “The Hollywood Wax Head Shop of Fame.”

You might be surprised at what an elite group we “headies” actually are.

Stay tuned.

LOOSE LIPS SYNCS SHIPS - TEST OVER

2007-07-26T16:05:00.000-07:00

SCROLL DOWN FOR THE ANSWERS

Because everyone seemed to have a lot of fun (and success) with my last test, identifying artists I had on the Lloyd Thaxton Record Shop, let's bite the LP and take another shot at it.

I SAID SCROLL DOWN

Doing a television show five days a week, fifty two weeks a year with a guest artist each day eats through a lot of artists. Close to 2000 during the eight years the show was on. You sometimes run out of instantly recognizable people. There are just so many Beach Boys, James Browns and Sonny and Chers. But though they are not always recognizable, they are all great artists just the same.

DOWN DOWN

Here's the new test: See how many of the nine guest shown below you can name. They all appeared on the LT Show, but many of you might not have recognize them until I announced their names. Go for it.

While I'm here, let me add a couple more questions to the mix. (1) Who is the person and where was he in the picture above biting the LP, and (2) Who was the famous singer on my mind when I titled this posting "Loose Lips Syncs Ships." All you Mouse Cliquers will remember this slogan as a dire warning during World War II.

Here we go. "NAME THAT PERSON!"

FINALLY

(1)

RAY BOLGER

Ray Bolger was a great American entertainer of stage and screen, best known for his portrayal of the Scarecrow (and the farmworker "Hunk") who was Dorothy's favorite in the 1939 film classic, The Wizard of Oz.

(2)
FRANKIE LANE

One of the most successful American singers of the twentieth century. Often billed as America's Number One Song Stylist, his other nicknames include Mr. Rhythm, Old Leather Lungs, and Old Man Jazz. His hits included "That's My Desire", "That Lucky Old Sun," "Mule Train", "Cry of the Wild Goose", "Jezebel," "High Noon", "I Believe", "Hey Joe!", "The Kid's Last Fight", "Cool Water", "Moonlight Gambler", "Love is a Golden Ring", "Rawhide", and "Lord, You Gave Me a Mountain". His career as an entertainer spanned approximately 75 years, from 1930 (when he sang in between sets with a marathon dance company) to 2005 (when he sang That's My Desire in a PBS special).

(3)

LIONEL HAMPTON

Was a jazz vibraphonist, percussionist, bandleader and actor. Like Red Norvo, he was one of the first real jazz vibraphone players. "Hamp" ranks among the great names in jazz history, having worked with a who's who of jazz musicians, from Benny Goodman and Buddy Rich to Charlie Parker and Quincy Jones.

(4)
THE NEWBEATS

Were a popular music vocal trio best known for their 1964 hit "Bread and Butter" on Hickory Records. The group's members were Larry Henley (born 30 June 1941, in Arp, Texas, Texas); and the brothers Dean (born 17 March 1939, in Hahira, Georgia) and Mark Mathis (born 9 February 1942, in Hahira). They were guests on the LT Show many times.

(5)

KING SOLOMON BURKE

Solomon burke is a soul and country music pioneer and member of the prestigious Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. In 1964 he wrote and recorded "Everybody Needs Somebody To Love," Burke's most prominent bid for an enduring soul standard. Almost immediately covered by The Rolling Stones the same year, other well-known versions include one by Wilson Pickett and another, a decade and a half later, in the 1980 film by The Blues Brothers. He was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 2001. He was nice enough to let me try on his King clothes.

(6)
JOHNNY CRAWFORD

Johnny Crawford received an Emmy Nomination at the age of 13 for his role in the western television series, "The Rifleman.Signed by Del-Fi Records in 1961, Johnny had five hits in the 1960s: Cindy's Birthday, Rumors, Your Nose Is Gonna Grow, Proud, and Patti Ann. During that period Del-Fi released five Johnny Crawford albums. My daughter Jennifer (shown in the center) was a big fan.

(7)

ROUND ROBIN

Round Robin was one of my favorite guests on the show. He presented some of the best dance music of the 60s. I sponsored two albums with Round Robin, "Lloyd Thaxton Presents The Land of 1000 Dances" and "Lloyd Thaxton presents Greatest Dance Hits Slauson Style."

(8)
WAYNE NEWTON

An American singer and entertainer based in Las Vegas, Nevada. Wayne performed over 30,000 solo shows in Las Vegas over a period of over 40 years, earning him the nickname Mr. Las Vegas. His best known songs include the kitschy "Daddy Don't You Walk So Fast" (1972), "Years" (1980) [3], and his signature song, "Danke Schoen" (1963) which he introduced on the LT Show.

(9)

THE DAVE BRUBECK QUARTET

The Dave Brubeck Quartet was a jazz quartet, founded in 1951 by Dave Brubeck; featuring Paul Desmond on saxophone, and Brubeck on piano. They took up a long residency at San Francisco's Blackhawk nightclub and gained great popularity touring college campuses, releasing a series of albums with such titles as Jazz at Oberlin, Jazz Goes to College, and Jazz Goes to Junior College. My favorite? Take Five.

Well, there it is. How did you do? I got a lot of close answers. Many people emailed their answers directly to me, but only one person got all the answers.

That person is Lane Quigley. Lane is a prominent attorney in LA and host of The Memory Lane Show on RockitRadio (CLICK HERE). I have to tell you this. Lane is also my partner in producing the Lloyd Thaxton DVD. He did not have any pre-look at this blog. He is just some kind of genius when it comes to the music and the artists of the 60s. And, that, Mouse Cliquers, is why Lane Quigley and I became friends and partners. He knows more about the 60s than I do.

Now about "Loose Lips Syncs Ships." Lane got the fact that The Chocolate Watch Band recorded "Loose Lip Sync Ship" in their 1969 album "One Step Beyond" (I told you he was a genius). However, that was not the singer I was thinking of when I titled my post "Loose Lips Syncs Ships." I was thinking of Barry Manilow. Stay with me, this is kind of crazy. "Loose lips sink ships" was a World War II warning not to tell secrets about cargo that is being shipped to Europe by ship. Submarines were stalking these ships everyday.

For some reason when I thought of that slogan, it came out "Loose lips SYNC ships." Barry Manilow had a hit record titled "Ships." My imagination started to run wild. I invisioned Barry having throat trouble just before one of his Las Vegas shows. So he had to lip-sync his hit. The next morning the Las Vegas newpaper headline was, "LOOSE LIPS SYNCS SHIPS."

Is that weird or what?

Thanks to everybody to took the test. And thanks to Wikipedia for providing me with some fantastic background on my guests. What a great site to get instant information.

Want more tests?

Stay tuned.

H A I R S P R A Y ?

2007-07-23T16:53:00.000-07:00

Sorry for being so negligent in keeping this blog up, but I have been working on the “My Name is Lloyd Thaxton – So What” DVD. Finding just the right material takes a lot of viewing time. The good news is that we’ve managed to put the rough cut together and are now in the music clearance phase of the project.

I've attached a picture (above) that illustrates one way a show is put together. The bits are put on 3x5 cards, pinned to a cork board, and are then switched around to create a well-rounded presentation. I’ve rubbed out some of the routines on the cards. Two reasons: (1) I want it to be a surprise (2) Some music might not clear and we will have to pull the song out. I’m biting my knuckles over this. I don’t want to have to cut ANYTHING.

For those who aren’t aware of music clearance, all the music that was licensed to use for the show 40 years ago, has to be licensed again for this “new media” (DVDs were not around in the 60s). We have to get two licensing permits for each song: one from the publisher (music rights) and one from the record company (sync rights). Both licensing fees have to be negotiated for each song. The biggest problem (besides the cost) is getting to the right people and getting answers back (Remember, over 40 years has gone by). There are over 26 complete songs on the DVD. This process takes a lot of time and effort, but we are gaining on it. The target date is still set for October 2007.

The good thing about this phase is that it has given us time to screen a 30 minute version for friends, relatives, and anyone else who will give us 30 minutes of their life. This gives us feed back to see if we are on the right track. One thing that thrills all of us is the reception we have been receiving from the 20-something group; People who were not around when the show aired. It’s very satisfying to know that they don't see it as something scraped up out of the past. It holds up. They laugh and applaud at all the right places. That means that all you wonderful Baby Boomers out there can show it to your own kids and proudly proclaim, "That's what I watched as a kid."

One interesting comment we get from the younger crowd is “Why is everybody lip-syncing? What is the point of that?” We explain that this was before the MTV revolution. There were no music videos in the 60s, so artist had to lip-sync their records on dance shows all across the country. James Brown once tabbed me, “The Godfather of Music Videos.” Meaning that the show did more than just have people dance to the music, or have recording artists lip-sync
their hits. The kids on the Lloyd Thaxton Show made the music visual by lip-syncing the hits themselves, or by being supplied instruments so they could actually "air-guitar” the music and make the music entertaining to WATCH; just what a music video tries to do. Most of the younger crowd who asked the lip-sync question didn’t realize that, even when MTV came on the scene, the artists on their music videos were, you got it, LIP-SYNCING.

There is ONE BIG DISAPPOINTMENT in the timing of all this. I can’t help but wish that the Lloyd Thaxton Show DVD was ready to go RIGHT NOW. I mean ... Look what just opened in theaters all across the country ...

Wouldn’t it have been fantastic if the MNILTSWDVD and HAIRSPRAY had been released on the same day? HAIRSPRAY is not only a smash hit with great reviews (Starring John Travolta, Michelle Pfeiffer, Christopher Walken, Queen Latifah, and a fantastic cast of talented dancers and actors), it’s all about those fabulous dance shows of the 60s. That would have been a marketing dream. Damn!

Well, let’s face it, it's too late for that. However, here is how we can still make it work. All you Mouse Cliquers go see HAIRSPRAY, OK? In fact, see it several times. Then buy the HAIRSPRAY DVD when it comes out and view that several more times. That way you will all be ready and eager when THE REAL THING comes out in October.

Stay tuned.

AND THE WINNER IS

2007-07-06T09:31:00.000-07:00

******EDITED BLOG******

All you Mouse Cliquers did well on my CELEBRITY IDENTIFICATION test. However, as expected, no one identified all eleven. I'm going to identify them under each picture. Please do not forget these talented people again. If you do choose to forget them, it will make me a little queezy about my own survival.

If you can't wait to find out, scroll down FAST.

This is me, Lloyd

When I was a kid my mother warned me that if I kept crossing my eyes, they would someday stick like that. I didn't believe her. I kept testing her theory. Much to my mother's relief, my eyes did not stick. However, they did get me my own TV show.

It has always been my way to not completely trust the claims of others. When I was producing "Fight Back! with David Horowitz" on NBC, we were always putting commercial claims to the test. These tests and the results were mainly the reason for the shows success. Unless you are a high school student, people love tests.

That brings me to the test I was conducting in my last Blog. I wanted to see if I just MENTIONED the name of Paris Hilton, how many people would automatically find my blog by just googling her name. I did this even though I was advised it was a stupid test. They were right. I didn't get one result.

Paris Hilton has 75,000,000 mentions on Google. Combined with the fact that Paris is also one of the most beautiful and famous cities in the world, and Hilton is one of the largest hotel chains in the world, AND one of their hotels is called THE PARIS HILTON, it is easy to see why my test got lost in this crowded mass. It would be an interesting test to find out if any of her fans ever made it a goal to stay at the Paris Hilton.

NO IT WOULDN'T!

Are you ready for another test?

(SHOUTS OF "NO" AND "BOO" ARE HEARD BUT LLOYD MOVES ON ANYWAY)

The Lloyd Thaxton Record Shop ran five days a week (sometimes seven) for three years on KCOP in Los Angeles. It was the forerunner to The Lloyd Thaxton Show and we did close to a thousand one hour programs. They were all live, never taped and are lost forever. That is except for eleven photos I found in a trunk in my garage (I have no idea who took these picture or why more were not taken).

I would like to share them with you to see how many of these celebrities you are able to recognize . At the time, the late 50s and early 60s, they represented some very influential people in music and entertainment. THIS IS A TEST!

I'm going to display the pictures to find out how many you can identify. Some are quite easy. Others are not. Have fun.

(1)STAN FREBERG

A legend. A great satirist of popular music. A writer/producer of off-the-wall commercials. A famous cartoon voice. My favorite recording of his: “The Yellow Rose of Texas.”

(2)
ELSA LANCASTER

Married to actor Charles Laughton. Made many movies but is best remembered for her role as the monster's wife in Bride of Frankenstein (1935). She was a great guest. Told all kinds of funny intimate stories about Charles Laughton.

(3)
ERROLL GARNER

#1 jazz pianist in the 50s. Wrote the song "Misty" (lyrics added by Johnny Burke). Misty was a pop hit for five different artists between 1959 and 1975. In 1971 Garner re-recorded "Misty" for the Clint Eastwood directorial debut, "Play Misty For Me." One of my all-time favorite guests. Besides being on The Record Shop, his live jazz performances wowed the kids on "The Lloyd Thaxton Show."

(4)
MAUREEN O’HARA

Maureen's first love was always singing. In 1960 she starred on Broadway in the musical "Christine" and released two successful recordings, Love Letters from Maureen O'Hara and Maureen O'Hara Sings her Favorite Irish Songs. Once named one of the world's most beautiful women, O'Hara's beautiful face and thick red hair blowing in the wind as she waves from a gate in the John Ford's Academy Award winning film "How Green Was My Valley" will remain one of the most iconic images ever preserved on film. I think I was in love with her.

(5)
ROGER WILLIAMS

In 1955 he recorded the only piano instrumental to reach #1 on Billboard magazine's popular music charts: "Autumn Leaves." While many other records of this song have been made since it was composed in 1945 by the composer Joseph Kosma, Roger Williams' version is easily the best known and most played. In 1966 he had another Top Ten hit with the song "Born Free" from the motion picture soundtrack of the same name. Also became a favorite guest on the LTS. He even gave me a practice piano keyboard so I could better learn to finger-sync his records.

(6)

GENE BARRY

Known for his suave manner, Barry starred on television in Our Miss Brooks, Bat Masterson, The Name of the Game, and Burke's Law (for which he won a golden globe). Take it from me, he did have a suave manner.

(7)
BILL DANA (on the left)

In the NBC sitcom The Bill Dana Show (1963-65), a spin-off of "The Danny Thomas Show," his José Jiménez character became a bumbling bellhop at a posh New York hotel. His snooty, irritable boss was played by Jonathan Harris. The cast also included Don Adams as a hopelessly inept house detective (an early incarnation of what was to become his "Maxwell Smart" character on Get Smart). Bill produced the ABC "Milton Berle Show" in the 60s and booked me as a guest.

BARNEY KESSEL (on the right)

GREAT JAZZ GUITARIST OF THE 50s and 60s and a famous studio musician who played on 100s of top recorded hits.

(8)
TONY MARTIN

Star of 35 Films, 8 Hit records and married to Cyd Charisse (what a life). Tony is 95 years old today and still performing (That's because he's married to Cyd Charisse).

(9)
JERRY LEWIS
He is Jerry Lewis

(10)
ELMER BERNSTEIN

Composed music for over 200 TV and feature films as diverse as True Grit, Walk on the Wild side, My Left Foot, Animal House and To Till A Mocking Bird. He was nominated 10 times for an Oscar and won for “Thoroughly Modern Millie." Another frequent guest. I loved movie score composers. Made for great behind the scene stories.

(11)

DIMITRI TIOMKIN

Composed the music for 100s of movies, like The High and the Mighty (1954), Giant (1956), Friendly Persuasion (1956), Gunfight at the O.K. Corral (1957), Rio Bravo (1959), The Alamo (1960), The Guns of Navarone (1961), Town Without Pity (1961), 55 Days at Peking (1963), The Fall of the Roman Empire (1964), The War Wagon (1967), and many more. A real Hollywood character. I was fortunate to be one of his table guest when he won the Golden Globe for "The Guns of Navarone."

Hope you all enjoyed the test. I'll try to think up some more.

Stay tuned

ATTENTION CLASS! THIS IS A TEST

2007-06-27T15:16:00.000-07:00

I have been informed by an unimpeachable source that if I mention Paris Hilton in my blog, the amount of hits would increase quite substantially. Therefore, I'm going to conduct a test on that theory by naming eight unrelated subjects and keep a count of which one gets the most attention.

Paris Hilton, Paris Hilton, Paris Hilton, American Idol, George W. Bush, American Idol, George W. Bush, and Paris Hilton.

If what I was told turns out to be true, I will somehow work the winner into all future postings.

Googlers, start your engines.

Stay tuned.

POLYTICS

2007-06-21T17:25:00.000-07:00

I don’t know about you, but when I look at all those presidential candidates lined up on stage,I ‘m looking ever so hard to find a winner. Of course at election time a winner will emerge. But, what I’m looking for is a WINNER!

Most likely you have heard about Steven Spielberg’s endorsement of Hillary Clinton. That was OK with me. What was not OK were all those letters to the editors putting Spielberg down for doing what he believed in; participating in the election of America’s leaders. “What does a Movie Director know about politics,” some people wrote. Others said, “He should stay out of politics and just make movies.”

Whenever I hear radio talk-show hosts and news commentators say that people in show business should stay out of politics and shouldn’t use their popularity to back candidates for office, it really makes my polytics start acting up something fierce.

Poly: many.
Tics: local and habitual twitching, especially in the face.

Man, my face hurts.

Who would make a better presidential candidate than Spielberg himself. Here's a person who can produce and direct a major motion picture that grosses hundreds of millions of dollars at the box office?

It is my habit to have more than one book going at the same time. I’ve found no better way to be entertained and informed. For example, I’ve just finished reading Al Gore’s latest book, “The Assault on Reason.” At that same time I was reading, “God Is Not Great” by Christopher Hitchens, “The Reagan Diaries” by Ronald Reagan, and “Echo Park” by Michael Connelly (Hey, I needed a break from all that heavy stuff).

Here’s a quote from “The Assault on Reason” with which I feel everyone can easily identify.

“Many Americans now feel that our government is unresponsive and that no one in a position of power listens to or cares what they think. They feel disconnected from democracy. They feel that one vote makes no difference, and that they, as individuals, now have no practical means of participating in America’s self-government.”

How many of you feel that you are powerless as far as your government is concerned? How many of you don’t vote because you feel that your vote doesn’t count?

Solution: We need more actors, producers, and directors and less lawyers and professional politicians running for office. When directors like Steven Spielberg make a movie they become master leaders and communicators. They put thousands of people to work and run organizations whose goal is to reach great amounts of people. Therefore, who could possibly know more about what the people want? And better yet, have the ability and knowledge to give it to them. You participate in their work by buying a ticket … or not buy a ticket. Your vote counts, at the box office.

A director/producer looks at how many of you bought a ticket or they look at TV ratings to tell how well they are doing. If the grosses continue to be low or the ratings dismal, they are soon out of a job or their show is gone. THEY are gone. Our leaders today seemed to have sidestepped this consequential inconvenience. Could it be possible that they really don’t care what you think?

Actor/President Ronald Reagan, the great communicator, cared. He knew how to reach people. From his years in show business, he knew how to let people feel they were important and that he was listening to them.

Time to make a commitment. If it were possible to vote today for President of the United States and he was running, I would vote for Al Gore. He is a WINNER. He was a member of the House of Representatives, AND a Senator, AND a two-term Vice President of The United States. And even more important, when he ran for president, he got more popular votes than George W. Bush. He not only reads books, he writes books.

Now you might ask why, after saying I thought our government would run better with show business people in charge, I would vote for a politician like Al Gore?

Besides his years of experience in Washington, don’t forget that he also won an Academy Award. If elected he would be the first President of the United States to have an Oscar sitting in the Oval Office.

Now, from what I said above, I don’t want you to think that I am against all lawyers in government. Some of my best friends are lawyers. However, as I said, show business people have to reach millions of people to keep their jobs; A lawyer only has to reach a maximum of 12.

Stay tuned

LLOYD THAXTON, THE THIRD

2007-06-12T12:32:00.000-07:00

Have you ever wondered what a big movie star thinks about when he watches his or her old movies? I have. When I see a movie like “The Graduate,” I wonder what Dustin Hoffman thinks when watching himself 40 years after the movie was made.

Or, the great Kirk Douglas viewing “Spartacus,” filmed 47 years ago. Does it feel strange?

I’ve been experiencing strange feelings myself as I edit the DVD, “My Name is Lloyd Thaxton – So What.” Believe it or not, except for one or two clips, I am looking at footage I haven't seen for over 40 years.

I find myself smiling a lot. Even laughing out loud. I’m thrilled when I see how talented the kids are when they perform in the lip-sync contests. To me, it’s kind of an “American Idol” rip-off (If you can rip-off a show 40 years BEFORE it happens). And, the dance contests are cheerily reminiscent of “Dancing With The Stars.” My groups of kids are performing their hearts out in hopes of winning the big prize: tickets to Disneyland and a couple record albums (remember those prizes?). Better yet, applause from their peers.

But, what about me? What do I feel when I see what I looked like 40 years ago? I find it difficult to say “me”, or “I,” when referring to myself. There is no “myself.” That young person I see on the screen doesn’t really seem like me anymore. So I talk in the third person. I say things like, “Let’s look at Lloyd’s number again. He’s funny in that one,” or, “There’s a little too much of Lloyd on the DVD. We need more of the kids.” I sometimes catch editor Dan Schaarschmidt smiling at me sideways when I do that.

I remember sitting in a screening room a few years ago viewing an old film. Sitting next to me was one of the stars of the movie. After one of his very dramatic scenes, he turned to me and said. “That guy deserves an Oscar.” I thought the remark was very quaint; “that guy” being him. But now, after spending so much time looking at my young self, I understand. By speaking in the third person, he could get away with bragging about that OTHER actor ...

... or, criticizing. There was one of my LTS routines we were considering that we liked a lot. However, I felt my introduction to the song made me look bad. On the tape I was kidding with the cameraman regarding the angle of his shot. Taken out of context, it gave the impression that I was criticizing him on the air. I said, “Cut out Lloyd’s introduction, It makes him look like an ass." Again, the editor smiled. I had just called myself an ass.

Maybe that’s how Dustin Hoffman feels. Or, Kirk Douglas. If they don’t like something they did over 40 years ago, they can just think, “That’s not me, that’s HIM! “ Or, they can say, “Isn’t he terrific,” without any ego showing.

So what do I think when I see that young guy on the screen?

Lloyd (after and before) with Petula Clark and Joe Smith, then V.P. Warner Bros Records

Actually, I think he's quite handsome!

Writing in the third person, ALSO has its advantages.

Stay tuned.

MUSING ON THE FIRST QUARTER OF MY LIFE

2007-06-03T11:29:00.000-07:00

There’s a classic joke that goes, “A young tourist walking down 5th Ave in New York stops an old man on a street corner and asks, ‘Excuse me sir. Can you tell me how to get to Carnegie Hall?’ The man pauses, reflects, and then answers, ‘Practice … Practice.’”

I was reminded of that old and wise story when my 19 year-old nephew, Keegan Allen, recently asked me, “How did you get your own show?”

Keegan’s question brought back memories of all the different jobs I had in my life starting at 12 with a paper route. During one high school summer break; I worked in a factory operating a punch press. Next, it was a blueprint-making machine in a draftsmen office.

Another summer had me punching out and inspecting automobile door handles at a metal casting company. I delivered mail for the post office during Christmas. My favorite of all vacation jobs was working in the men’s section of LaSalle’s Department Store. I loved demonstrating men’s ties with that wonderful quick trick of wrapping the tie around my hand in such a way as to show how it would look tied. It was like … magic. The ladies loved it.

My last summer job before show biz intervened was at Toledo’s Babcock Dairy picking thousands of milk bottles up off a fast moving conveyor belt and putting them in wooden cases (trying hard not to break them). After this 10-hours-a-day working summer, I still can’t stand picking up a glass milk bottle, let alone drinking from it. I would suspect that my psyche became, “all bottled up.”

It was my Dad who taught me the ethic of work when he bought his skinny little 12 year-old son a newspaper route and a bicycle to make deliveries. My first lesson: Pay him back a little each week until the route and the bike became my very own. “And that, my son, will make you an independent businessman.”

A 12 year-old independent businessman?

The people at the post office DID NOT invent the phrase, “Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds." It was my dad who said that.

The first time I went out to collect for my first week delivering newspapers, this young courier trudged along my appointed rounds through two feet of snow and gloom of night to collect a measly quarter from each of my 60 customers (five days of papers at five cents a day). I even had one of those little metal changers hooked to my belt. I can testify to the fact that they don’t work too well when your fingers are frozen to them.

I don’t know if anyone still does this, but there were many businessmen at the time who would take their first dollar, have it framed and hang it on the wall of their office with the inscription “First Dollar I Ever Made.” Well, when I got home after my first collection night, I went to my Dad and said, “Dad, I want you to have the first QUARTER I ever made.” After I put it in his hand, he slowly closed it and said, “I’ll cherish this forever.”

50 years later, when I took a break from my TV show and was visiting my dad back in Toledo (He was almost 90 then), he asked me, “Son, do you remember when you gave me the first quarter you ever earned? Before I could answer, he reached into his pocket, opened his hand and said, “Well, here it is.”

And there it was. He had been saving my first quarter for all those 50 years. The “teacher” was giving it back to me as a reward for all my hard work.

My dad’s gone now and you can’t possibly imagine how much that quarter is worth to me today. I get a catch in my throat every time I tell this story (and I tell it a lot). Right now that quarter of my life is sitting in a special felt-bottomed box so I can take it out, close my hand, and just … hold it.

I’ve decided that when people today ask me how I got my own show, I’m going to tell them it was my dad, George Tucker Stainback Thaxton’s fault.

Stay tuned.

ATTENTION MOUSE CLIQUERS - ALERT THE MEDIA

2007-05-29T09:24:00.001-07:00

Many of you have been asking (thankyouverymuch), “When is the Lloyd Thaxton Show DVD coming out?" The good news is we are on track for October 2007. So far, there is no bad news. We've been spending the last couple of months looking at tapes and are now in the final selection process. Dan Schaarschmidt, the wonderkid editor at Research Video is putting together an array of Thaxton bits that are blowing my mind. Dan is not only a talented video editor, he is an inspiration; a young 90’s man who is actually enjoying strutting my old 60’s stuff. I can’t help but quote from the famous “Mikey” Life cereal TV commercial, “HE LIKES IT!”

The more I go through all the material, the more I appreciate those wonderguy archivists, Paul Surratt and Bill DiCicco, and everyone else at Research Video for protecting this bit of 60s history and keeping it in such good shape for all these years.

The above picture was taken by an anonymous high school student, circa 1963. This person’s thoughtful sentiment was posted on the school blackboard and I’ve chosen it for the cover of the DVD. I’ve always maintained that I really don’t care what anybody says about me, as long as they spell my name right.

I’ll keep you posted.

Stay tuned.

KEEP THOSE CARDS AND RESIDUALS COMING

2007-05-21T15:36:00.000-07:00

One of the joys of being in show biz is going to your mailbox and discovering one of those big residual checks. The size of the check is sometimes the difference between buying that new Mercedes or starving to death, “Get me to the bank on time.”

For the uninitiated, a residual check is what you receive when a show, a series, a commercial, etc., etc., etc., keeps up with the energizer bunny and just keeps on going. If it goes long enough and the checks are big enough, you will never have to work in this town again.

Just how long do those checks keep on going? Does the word “FOREVER” strike a familiar note? It does to me.

Back in 1964 I starred in a movie. Well … em … I really didn’t STAR in a movie. It’s more like I STAR-TED in a movie. It was “The Patsy.” And, Jerry Lewis was the star. Actually, truth be known, for me it wasn’t even a start. A “start” signifies that you start and then kept going. “The Patsy” was my “start’n stop.” As far as movies are concerned, it was my hit song and swan song in one number.

But, here we are some 40 plus years later and those big “The Patsy” residual checks just keep rolling in, allowing me to survive in this town for at least another hour. I was so proud of my last check that, instead of cashing it, I had it framed. Not exactly because of the tremendous amount the check represented, but for the fact that after all those years, Paramount Pictures persevered and made sure I got it. Forget that it was sent to an address I hadn’t lived at for 40 years, we big movie stars have The Screen Actors Guild to guide these most deserved checks to our huge new mansions.

This tenacity in tracing lost personalities is the good part. The not-so-good part is that over the years those remittances do get depressingly smaller and smaller. I suspect that more money was spent on search and rescue, than the value of the check itself.

Take my check for example. That’s not $6009.00 one sees in the “pay amount” line. That is $6.09. The frame I put it in cost $14.99 (plus tax).

I love receiving these checks. They bring back fond memories of the great fun I had working with my idol Jerry Lewis. He made me feel like a movie star and still does by sending those checks. Thank you Jerry.

Someone should write a song.

“There’s no business like show business like no business I know.”

And they should get a really big gal singer to sing it really loud.

Stay tuned.

WHEN A G.I. WASN'T A MEDICAL PROCEDURE

2007-05-17T10:45:00.000-07:00

Arrrrrrrrrrrrrr maties! This may seem like a change of course from what you might expect from reading my past postings, i.e. “Stories and insight in the world of showbiz and beyond,” but avast ye swabbies! I’m preparin’ t' fire a broadside in this here blog. I have no doubt that the reason the world of showbiz and beyond has been good to me is because my country was good to me.

The young kid above is Seaman Lloyd Thaxton, circa 1944, right out of boot camp and proudly displaying the uniform of the United States Navy. What has this to do with showbiz, you might ask? Well, sit down and this here Captain (eh, Seaman) will spin a yarn or two.

According to a recent Los Angeles Times editorial, most of today’s National Guard members serving in this “War on Terror” want financial aid for college when they leave the military. Sounds reasonable to me. However, according to the neo-political people, that is just too much to ask.

Wait a minute. I thought the rallying cry of our nation was “Support Our Troops.”

When I finished my term in the navy during World War II, I stepped right out of uniform and into college. Not just any college. I chose Northwestern University in Evanston, Illinois, one of the most expensive colleges in the country. I chose Northwestern because at the time it was one of the top communication schools in the nation with television, radio and theater professionals teaching classes. And you know what it cost me? Zilch! The good old US of A paid the bill along with a weekly stipend to tide me over and pay my room (I worked for my board). They were sure supporting this trooper.

In case you weren’t there and done that, the Servicemen's Readjustment Act of 1944 (better known as the G.I. Bill) provided for college or vocational education for returning World War II veterans (commonly referred to as G.I.s) as well as one year of unemployment compensation. It also provided no-down-payment low interest loans for returning veterans to buy homes and start businesses.

In the peak year of 1947, veterans accounted for 49 percent of college admissions. By the time the original GI Bill ended on July 25, 1956, 7.8 million World War II veterans had participated in an education or training program.

Instead of veterans coming home to look for jobs that just weren’t there, they were able to first get a college degree and this raised the standards for everyone living in America. Sure, it cost a lot. But it was all paid back because the country became much richer because of it. The opportunities became boundless.

Without the G.I. Bill, I never would have been able to afford a college education, let alone at a prestigious school like NU. I would most likely still be in Toledo, Ohio today, working in the Toledo Blade press room like my hard working father. A good job, but, like most returning veterans, I wanted to do better. The G.I.Bill gave me, and millions of other vets that opportunity.

Our soldiers, who are putting their lives on the line today as most of us go about life as if there was no war at all, deserve the same. Supporting the troops means, not only making sure every returning soldier gets proper medical attention, but also a G.I. Bill of their own so they will all get the same chance we World War II vets got to prepare for their future. I even bought my first home on the no-down-payment G.I. Bill (at 4%).

Like the original, a G.I. Bill for “War on Terror” veterans is going to be costly. I’m certainly willing to pay an extra tax and sincerely believe everyone who took advantage of the G.I. Bill back after World War II would also agree to chip in. It's pay back time and the only way to really support our troops.

Question: Don’t you think I looked pretty good in that uniform? My mom always thought so.

Stay tuned.

FEED ME, FEED ME

2007-05-05T13:05:00.000-07:00

First, let me share an email I received a few days ago.

-----------------------------

Hey there LT (one of my favorite people on this planet), you may or may not know the current bids for two DAWKS on Ebay are $32.00 and $26.00 respectively, auctions end tomorrow.

This is the one I am dying to have:

Yeah, they're cool and everything but...............................SO WHAT???????????

Keep it groovin',

ModGirl

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ModGirl, you made my day with your “my favorite people on this planet” remark. My ego runneth over. But more important it brought to mind the fact that different folks operate with different strokes. In talking to fans of the LT Show, I’m always surprised at what is remembered about the show. It hasn’t been seen for 40 years so I am surprised (and delighted) it’s remembered at all.

ModGirl is groovin’ for a Dawk doll used on the opening of the show and bashed around a bit throughout the hour (I’m told that the doll in question sold for about a hundred bucks). Others remember certain zany bits that I did, or, the lip-sync contests or certain guests they saw for the very first time. As I’m in the middle of picking out bits for the “My Name is Lloyd Thaxton – So What” DVD, that got me thinking about what you might want to see.

My hope is that the DVD will be a legacy to calm in the middle of that chaotic and volatile storm called “The 60s.” Here was this show called, “The Lloyd Thaxton Show” dancing around in the midst of urban riots, civil rights movements, assassinations and war and yet we survived. A fan once told me that when he started watching the show he first thought I was making fun of rock and roll. Then he realized that I was making rock and roll fun. And, that was music to my ears.

There is a wonderful book out right now titled “Laurel Canyon: The Inside Story of Rock-and-Roll's Legendary Neighborhood.” Veteran journalist Michael Walker tells the inside story of the unprecedented gathering of some of the baby boom’s leading musical giants of the 60s who turned Los Angeles into the music capital of the world and forever changed the way popular music is recorded, marketed, and consumed. It’s a fascinating read. Especially to me, as I lived in Laurel Canyon then and still do today.

There is soon to be released a new book by Domenic Priore. “Riot on Sunset Strip: Rock'n'Roll's Last Stand in 60s Hollywood.” This book evokes a raucous, revolutionary time in American culture for those who lived it. I can’t wait to read the book because I just happened to be snap-dab in the middle of that riot, penned down in the famous Schwab's Drug Store.

My hope is that the “My Name is Lloyd Thaxton – So What” DVD, measures up to both of the above books in highlighting the fascinating music and artists of the era. And, even more important, the young people who danced (and performed) to the music. The words in the books are impressive and informational of course, but to complete the story, to get the history straight, you have to hear the music.

That brings me to this question. As a fan, what would you like to see and hear on the DVD?

Think about it and then take mouse in hand and start cliquing away. I realize that after forty years, many of you might have forgotten a few things. Age …does that, you know. That being the case, here’s a list that might help jog your memory.

First there was this insane Thaxton guy host, who lip-synced, finger synced and played more instruments than the entire Juilliard School of Music’s 1965 graduation class. Above he presents Roger Williams’s “Summer Wind” on the piano, mindless of the fact that the studio is being blown away at hurricane force.

Then, there was the lip-sync contest where all you young kids tried to make that insane Thaxton guy look like a rank amateur and, in most cases, succeeded. YouTube, eat your heart out.

There was THE game, “Don’t Lose Your Marbles or You’re Off Your Rocker” where you sat in rocking chairs and lost a marble every time you failed to name the record played. When you lost all your 10 allocated marbles, you were OFF YOUR ROCKER and the lone sane person who kept all the marbles won the game. You were so fast that no one ever heard more than one note of each record.

We then gathered our voices together to form choruses like the Lloyd Thaxton Singers (above) doing The Johnny Mann Singers doing the theme from “Goldfinger.” The mesmerized audience at home (actually) thought you sang so beautifully.

And don’t forget all those great guests: The Turtles, Petula Clark, Marvin Gaye, Johnny Rivers, The Shangri-Las, Ben E. King, Peter, Paul and Mary, and, too many more to show here.

Then there were all those great dances: The Slauson, the Twist, The Hully Gully, the Mash Potato, the Watusi, Swim, Limbo Rock. It's music, music, music.

That’s what I've been thinking.

But, as Gary would say, NEXT!

Stay tuned.

TO BEARD OR NOT TO BEARD - THAT IS THE QUESTION

2007-04-10T10:56:00.000-07:00

I have finally started on the DVD, “My Name is Lloyd Thaxton – So What,” and hope to have it out before the end of the year. I’ve been looking at clips for that last few months and I guarantee you are going to be blown away. Damn! That was a good show.

I have a problem. A respected friend warned me that, “When the DVD is finished, you will have to promote it. And that means the beard will have to go." His reasoning? No one will watch a bearded person on TV pitching anything.

That bit of constructive criticism reminded of the day I made the decision to step out from in front of the camera and become a producer. I had had a great run on TV, but I wanted to do something different. I wanted to go behind the camera and write and produce and direct (doesn’t everyone?).

The problem was that no one I talked to would buy the idea of me as a producer. After all, I was that crazy on-camera guy: the funny TV person, the Jerry Lewis of rock and roll. No one was supposed to ever take me seriously. I was expected to spend the rest of my life lip-syncing records?

One morning I took a hard look at myself in the mirror. Unfortunately, I was never able to look at myself in a mirror without making a goofy face. I started to laugh. “STOP IT!” I shouted. “THIS IS SERIOUS!!” I changed my expression to a studious intelligent looking frown and gently stroked my chin. “What I need is a beard,” I mused. “No one hires an on-camera person who has a beard. Only writers, producers and directors are allowed to have beards. It makes them look more educated. You know, "the producer look."

Think about it. How many TV hosts have you ever seen with beards? Alex Trebek started out with only a mustache. but in a few weeks, it was GONE! TV news producers pay big money to consultants to ensure that all their news anchors have that same TV news-reader look. The one rule that can never be broken? NO FACIAL HAIR (and that includes the female news anchors as well). Ever see a dance show host with a beard? Or, how about a candidate running for office?

FUGETABOUTIT

So, I grew a beard. No one would ever put Lloyd Thaxton in front of a TV camera again.

To test my new look I went to a producer job interview. They took one look at me and said, “You LOOK like a producer,” and I was hired on the spot.

This program we were talking about was not a Lloyd Thaxton type show or anything even close to it. It was a new local show for TV station KNBC in Los Angeles to be titled, “California Buy-line.” It would star KNBC's very popular consumer reporter, David Horowitz.

When the word got around that I was going to produce and direct a public service consumer show on a local television station, the whispered gossip was: He must really need the money. Are you kidding me? Take a guess at what you think they paid producers of local TV shows back in the seventies. $20,000 a week? $2,000? If you guessed $200, you win the cigar. Not much money, honey, but I was a PRODUCER!

This turned out to be the best career move I ever made. The show was an instant local hit. The great thing is that I was never told to do the show with the zany part of my brain tied behind my back. KNBC (and David, bless his supreme intelligence) gave me free reign to do what ever I wanted. You’ve heard of “The Power of One?” This was “The power of The Beard.”

Together we produced the very first consumer show with pizazz. I even got to do some cameo appearances as the bearded Dr. Freon, the product testing genius, the dirty-bearded Dirty Moore, the inventor of Dirty Potato Chips, and a host of other weird bearded characters.

We spent our shoot days giddily dropping trash bags from the KNBC traffic helicopter to challenge the manufacturer’s highly touted claims of unusual strength. Dr. Freon froze Timex watches and dropped wrecking balls on them.

We even had wrestlers strap watches to their waists to see if they could really “take a licking and keep on ticking.”

Geeta, the late great LA Zoo elephant (what a BIG sweetheart), mashed toy trucks, suitcases, unbreakable cola bottles and many other products, to challenge the outrageous claims of their indestructibility.

The show became so popular that after the first year it went national. It soon became the Emmy award winning “Fight Back! with David Horowitz.” We did the show for 18 fun filled years.

And, I owe it all to my beard.

Many of my contemporaries, who are still highly successful in the on-camera music-broadcast business, have long whitened their teeth, darkened their hair and would never ever be seen with even an iota of “FACIAL HAIR.” I salute their longevity. But, just because I have a new DVD that might require stepping back in the limelight as a host, do I really have to go that route?

To beard or not to beard? That is the question.

What would Hamlet do?

Stay tuned.

MARLON BRANDO RETURNS

2007-03-29T15:41:00.000-07:00

A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND JOKES

On one of my very first blogs I told the story of “MY SHORT HOT SUMMER WITH MARLON BRANDO.” I had gone to London back in the late 60s to shoot some film for my TV show. Marlon Brando happened to be at the airport meeting his attorney who was on the same plane as I. We immediately hit it off.

I told the story of how I was invited to the set of “The Countess From Hong Kong,” starring Brando, Sophia Loren, and directed by Charley Chaplin. Recently re-reading my blog, I realized the point of the story was completely missed. An important joke was involved and I never told it. Instead I wrote, “Unfortunately I can’t write out the joke on this page. It’s just too visual, with lots of hand gestures. So, you’ll just have to take my word that it’s funny.” My Brando story fell as flat as a road spiked tire.

That was before I knew how to add pictures. Now that I can, here’s the missing-joke story re-told ...

During a break in the filming, Brando and I were sitting off-stage, side by side in tall director’s chairs, and I told this joke:

A man walks into a bar, sits down, and starts talking to the guy next to him. He says, “You should have seen the gal I was out with last night.” Then he holds his hands up to his chest … like this.

The other guy asks, “She had big Tits?” and the man answers, “No. She had arthritis.”

Marlon couldn’t stop laughing. Then, as if on some kind of off-stage cue, he suddenly stopped and turned quite serious. “I’ve got to tell that joke to somebody and I’ve got to do it right now,” he said as he jumped down from his chair and rushed over to the other side of the set to interrupt a lone gaffer busily adjusting a light. He was too far away for me to make out exactly what he was saying, but I could see his lips moving and his hands making the correct gesture.

After he delivered the punchline the gaffer just stared, turned and continued his work. Brando looked perplexed, but not undaunted.

He next rushed over to Chaplin’s son Sidney, who was also in the film. More animated this time, it was Brando at his best. He accentuated the two-hand gesture as if an Oscar would be the result. Nothing! No laugh. Not even a smile.

Like a scene from a movie within a movie, Marlon returned and climbed back next to me on to his chair. During the few moments it took for him to carefully prepare his next line, the gaffer’s well-positioned key light provided me with the famous Brando profile.

When ready, he slowly turned and looked directly at me with dramatically hooded eyes, “Lloyd,” he said, “ I guess it’s just you and me.”

It was pretty obvious to me that he had blown the punch line. But, who cared? To me, it was pure Brando and I will always cherish that moment. Here we were, sitting close together, just like in the backseat scene in “On The Waterfront.” But instead of Marlon Brando and Rod Steiger, it was Marlon Brando and Lloyd Thaxton. He may have turned to me and said, “Lloyd, I guess it’s just you and me.” But I’ll swear to my dying day that what I heard was:

“Lloyd, I could have been a contender. I could have been somebody.”

Stay tuned

HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !!!!

2007-03-26T11:07:00.000-07:00

In my last posting, "King Kong vs Godzilla," I took up the issue of the Viacom vs YouTube's one-billion dollar law suit. This is an important issue to anyone who, not only enjoys watching creative (expensive to produce) television, but also wants to continue to be able to listen to their favorite music via CDs and iPod devices. Though many people visited my blog, there was only one comment posted to the "Kong" blog. An indication as to how few people really give a damn.

The one comment was from loyal fan, Mike Barer, who wrote, "Your video with Marvin Gaye got pulled. That is unfortunate, but glad I could enjoy it." Many thanks to Mike for taking the time to post his thoughts.


As I do give a damn, here is my comment to Mike:

The reason the Marvin Gaye video got pulled was because it was taken from a Marvin Gaye Documentary and downloaded to YouTube to be viewed illegally for FREE. This is not fair play. The producers of the documentary had paid dearly for the use of the clip and paid all the required license fees to the publishers of the music.

This is nice for the viewers of YouTube, but hard on the producers and the estate of Marvin Gaye, who not only spent many dollars for usage rights, but many hours producing and merchandising the DVD. This is a very expensive process. Why would one pay for view if they can see it free.

I'm sure there isn't one viewer of YouTube clips that would like to go to work each day and not get paid for their time, creativity, and efforts.

Like you, I enjoyed looking at the Lloyd Thaxton Show Marvin Gaye clip myself. Good promotion for my own future DVD, but at the same time, bad for people trying to make a living in the music and DVD business. YouTube and the holders of the copyrights have to get together and figure out a reasonable-cost way to solve this problem.

Stay tuned.

KING KONG VS GODZILLA!

2007-03-18T17:25:00.000-07:00

When I was producing “Fight Back” on NBC back in the 90s, we posed this question to our audience, “What is the difference between one million dollars and one billion dollars?” Our answer: One MILLION DOLLARS is a stack of one hundred dollar bills THREE FEET HIGH. One BILLION DOLLARS is a stack of one hundred dollars bills AS HIGH AS THREE EMPIRE STATE BUILDINGS stacked on top of one another.

Think about that while you peruse this legal looking document.

Viacom International Inc. (King Kong) is suing YouTube and Google (Godzilla) for one BILLION dollars. I don’t know about you, but this sure got my attention.

Now why would the nice guys at Viacom Inc. sue those other nice guys at YouTube and Google? According to what is printed in the paper (and we all believe what is printed in the paper) Viacom has discovered a few of their copyrighted TV shows playing on YouTube without their paying the required license fees. Well, maybe more than just a few; more like 160,000? Oh-Oh!

I have to say right here that I am sympathetic to Viacom’s BILLION dollar position.

The same kind of stuff is happening to the people who make records. Have you noticed how many neighborhood and chain record stores have gone out of business lately? Their downfall began when people started downloading songs free from the Internet. Why buy an album when you can listen to it freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee? If this phenomenon continued, it wouldn’t be long before there would be nothing to listen to, free or not. Why write songs? Why record songs? We all know it is fun to write music and sing and play in a band, but a person has to make a living.

Viacom’s BILLION dollar gorilla might just wake everyone up before all this litigation gets completely out of hand (a TRILLION dollars is a stack of hundred dollar bills as tall as THREE THOUSAND EMPIRE STATE BUILDINGS!). Hopefully someone will stop and listen to the wise words of Rodney King, “Why can’t we all just get along?”

The big movie, TV and music corporations should step back and face the fact that we have entered a new media era for the distribution of entertainment. And, the Internet has to stop playing unlicensed copyrighted material. There should be some kind of compromise reached between the supplier and the provider of Internet programming. My hope is that the Viacom/YouTube/Google BILLION dollar threat might be the catalyst to helping bring everyone together.

One of the many complaints music fans had against the record company conglomerates was that too many times the buyer had to fork out over 20-bucks for an entire album just to get the one song they really wanted. The record companies failed miserably in their attempts to address these complaints and the Internet was there to take over.

Apple, the one totally awesome company that rose to the challenge, opened their iTunes store offering downloaded single songs for 99-cents each. They then developed iPod for fans to program their own album compilations. The fans got their favorite songs; the recording artists and composers got paid. Compromise. Everybody wins.

I would hope that Viacom (King Kong) and YouTube/Google (Godzilla) reach a similar solution. One where a kid from Toledo could make a funny face and lip-sync Christina Aquilera doing a James Brown song on YouTube and the companies that distribute monies to the record company that recorded the song would get a reasonable percentage fee from YouTube’s advertising revenue. This is fantastic promotion for the record company, satisfaction for the publishers, lots of advertising for YouTube, and a lot of fun for the viewers watching some kid making a fool of himself in front of millions of people (BILLIONS actually).

That’s what I call entertainment.

That’s what I call getting along.

Stay tuned.

THEY CALLED ME "WORM"

2007-03-08T14:34:00.000-08:00

When I was a kid, my buddies tagged me with the moniker “Worm.” No matter how much my mother hated it, she had to admit it was a better nickname than my best pal, “Slimy.” Actually, “Worm” was quite prophetic. I grew up to be a worm: a bookworm. I collect American classics. And, I love to read more than just about anything else. Some of my favorite books are written by friends. And, if they are PSBA (Personally Signed By Author), reading their very personal notes brings back lots of warm memories.

What started me on this subject was a new book written and signed to me by my friend of over 40 years, noted promotion maven, Shelly Saltman. Shelly’s recently published book, Fear No Evel, is a fascinating read. I met Shelly back in 1963 when MCA-Universal, the media giant that syndicated The Lloyd Thaxton Show, put him in charge of the show’s promotion. It was Shelly’s innovative promotion style that helped keep the show on top of the syndicated charts for all the years it was on.

Shelly’s career ranged from promoting Jack Benny, Andy Williams, Mohammad Ali, all the way to Evel Knievel’s highly publicized sky-cycle rocket car jump over Snake River Canyon in Idaho. After that attempt failed, Shelly wrote about it in his first book, Evel Knievel On Tour, to which Mr. Knievel critiqued by beating Shelly to a pulp on the 20th Century Fox movie lot with a baseball bat. Hence the title, Fear No Evel. It’s a fascinating read and reminds me of all the wonderful experiences Shelly and I had together (Fortunately, I was spared the bat).

Next on my shelf I found another one of my favorite “PSBA” books. In 1968 I hosted an interview show on KCOP in Los Angeles. It was a pilot program to work out the kinks for the show’s possible run at national syndication. I had to be in New York during one of the show tapings and Regis Philbin sat in for me. The guest that day was Margaret O’Brian, who was there to plug her book My Diary.

She signed her book, “To Lloyd Thaxton. Thank you for the rare opportunity of meeting Regis Philbin. Gratefully – Margaret O’Brien.” What a sweet thing for her to write.

My all-time favorite PSBA book is a classic little tome titled, The Chrysalis, written by the late Paul Francis Webster. If the name Paul Francis Webster doesn’t strike a note, sing a few bars of, “Secret Love” or “Love is a Many Splendored Thing.” Paul wrote these two songs with composer Sammy Fain and each song won an Oscar. The same with “The Shadow of Your Smile” that Paul wrote with composer Johnny Mandel. Add those three Oscars to Paul’s 16 Academy Award nominations, 20 Gold Records, and a Grammy Award for songs like, “Tender is the Night,” “April Love,” “I Had it Bad and That Ain’t Good” and “Somewhere My Love” (Lara’s Theme from Doctor Zhivago).

I first met Paul Francis Webster in 1961 on "Lloyd Thaxton’s Record Shop.” He appeared on the show to plug his latest movie sound-track album. The next time I met him, about a year later, it was during a miss-guided trip to the front door of his house in Beverly Hills.

My wife and I were invited to dinner by Sam Mannis, the 60’s “Furrier to the Stars” and creator of FursByMannis in Beverly Hills. To make it easier to find his house Sam told us to look for his Rolls Royce, which he would park in the driveway.

We spotted the Rolls right away, walked up the driveway and knocked on the door. But, when the door opened, instead of Sam Mannis, it was Paul Francis Webster. He didn’t seem to be surprised at all to see me. As a matter of fact, he said, “Hi Lloyd. Come on in.” I asked if Sam Mannis was there and Paul answered, “No. Sam lives up the street. Do you want me to call him?” I felt quite stupid. I should have known there might be more than one home in Beverly Hills with a Rolls in the driveway. When I told Paul that I obviously had the wrong house, he looked at me, his face revealing obvious disappointment, and asked, “Does that mean you’re not staying?”

Sounds like an old joke, right? No way. Paul was truly disappointed. We didn’t stay that time, but that very moment was the beginning of a wonderfully warm friendship that lasted for many years. Paul and his lovely wife, Gloria, had a perpetual open house. Regardless of the hour, they loved to have friends just “drop in,” And, drop in, we did, many times.

Paul was in his 80s at the time but he and Gloria became formidable tennis foes. Barbara and I called Paul, “The Artful Lobber.”

We’ll never forget the night we were discussing the technique of collaborating with other composers. We asked how it was to work with the highly prolific composer Sammy Fain, who collaborated with Paul on, “Secret Love, “Tender is the Night,” and “Love is a Many Splendored Thing,” Instead of giving us an answer, he went to the phone, dialed up Sammy Fain, and had him come to the house to join the conversation. He even called Doris Day, who lived next door. If she had been home, he would have invited her over to personally sing “Secret Love.” I have no doubts, knowing Paul, that she would have showed up.

For about two hours, Paul and Sammy sat at the piano (pictured below) and performed a rousing concert almost laying out their entire careers together. I was salivating for a tape recorder. It seemed unfair for just Barbara and myself, an audience of only two, to enjoy. But, that was Paul. He loved his friends and he loved to share his wealth of talent.

Thanks for all those lovely words Paul. Just like you wrote it, Love IS a many splendored thing.

An aside to all my boyhood pals: Please take note that none of the above distinguished authors called me, "Worm."

Stay tuned.

LET'S HEAR IT FOR THE LITTLE GUY

2007-03-01T14:20:00.000-08:00

Early Wednesday morning, a member of our family passed away.

He was a little guy who lived in our house for over 11 years. An acclaimed child prodigy, he named himself, “Baby Peter” at just three months old. Then, started reciting, “I’m Baby Peter, Pumpkin Eater.” At only 2 years of age, he had a vocabulary of over 200 words. He could even recite Shakespeare (“To be or not to be. That is the question”). At age 3, he was entertaining guests with somersaults and taking treat requests (“Do you want a cookie?” “Would you like some water?”). He had a set of feathers on him that knocked you out every time he flew into the room.

Feathers? Flew? I guess by now you know I’m not talking about the little guy interviewing big guy Rock Hudson in the above picture. This little guy was a Parakeet. But, to us, he was a little person in a feather suit.

My love for parakeets began in 1952 while doing a show called “Leave It To Lloyd” on WSPD-TV in Toledo, Ohio. The show featured Lola Smith at the organ, Barbara Krall, who sang, myself, and starred the talking Parakeet, Sanford. Sanford was named after the pet store “Sanfords,” that donated him to the show (this was typical local 50s TV folks). We also had big guy guests like Rock Hudson, but it was Sanford who always stole the show and gathered the ratings. When the show went off the air (as all shows eventually do), Sanford moved into my parent's house for the rest of a very good life.

The scene changes to Hollywood.

My wife, Barbara, and I first saw Baby Peter at The Farmer’s Market Pet Store just days after he was born. When we entered the store he was being hand fed by Todd, the loving owner himself, and we had to wait a couple of weeks before he was old enough to bring home. From that moment on, he literally personified the phrase, “What a handful.”

Then one day, just a little over four weeks out of his nest, he looked up at Barbara and myself and said, ever so softly, “Baby bird.” We rushed to the phone to call Todd at Farmer’s Market to report this unbelievable feat (“He’s talking. He’s talking”), but were told that this was impossible; the bird was too young to talk. All the time I was trying to convince Todd it was true, Baby Peter was on my shoulder shouting into the phone, “BABY BIRD … BABY BIRD.”

And that was just the beginning. For the next 11 years he sang “Jingle Bells,” “Santa Clause is Coming to Town,” “Can’t Take My Eyes Off Of You,” and hundreds of other songs and expressions. He called out for “Cheese Please,” at the dinner hour, and said “I want to go to sleepy” when it was time for bedtime. Once covered, he then recited, “Good night, sleep tight. Don’t let the bed bugs bite.” We called him The Prince of Parakeeters.

We loved him so much and truly expected him to stay around forever. But, 11 is a lot of years for a Parakeet and a couple of weeks ago he began to fail. He stopped talking and spent a lot of time just sitting flat on our shoulders, snuggled up tight against our cheeks.

On Tuesday, Baby Peter started to lose the ability to stand on his own feet and Barbara and I took turns holding him in our hands for most of the day and night. At two thirty Early Wednesday morning, he lifted his head, let out a sigh, and died quietly in Barbara’s hand. We buried our little Prince under the Japanese Maple tree.

Anyone who has ever lost a beloved family member can surely understand our grief. The house feels eerily lonesome and quiet. We miss Baby Peter even more than we could have imagined. We were so thankful we were able to be with him when he left us. He was never alone.

Good night sweet Prince of Parakeeters; and flights of angels sing thee to thy rest.

Stay tuned.

STEVE MCQUEEN REDUX

2007-02-19T16:49:00.000-08:00

In case you are wondering what happened to “THE CONFESSIONS OF A HAS-BEEN” that I‘ve been promising for about a week, I decided I just wasn’t ready to confess yet. Actually, I’ve been working on some other projects and haven’t had time to really bare my sole.

I’ll do it! I’ll do it! But, in the meantime, I decided to do a Steve McQueen redux. When I started my blog over 14 months ago, one of my first stories was about my friend Steve McQueen. I figured that because so many cliquers have joined the Mouse Clique (Rat Pack for BlogSpotters) since this original mouse roared, they might have missed it.

It was the new Pixar movie “CARS” that really tipped my hand to repeat the story. The lead character in “CARS” is a sporty race car named Lightning McQueen. Like a lot of people, I thought they were talking about Steve McQueen. That is, until I did a little research.

According to Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia, “The car named McQueen was a reference to Glenn McQueen, a Pixar animator who died in 2002.

However, when I see Lightning McQueen speeding down the road in “Cars.” I can’t help seeing Steve McQueen speeding around those hair-pen turns in the movie “Bullitt.”

And that’s why I want to repeat my favorite Steve McQueen story.

As the “THE BLOB” was Steve’s first starring role in a movie, I decided to call my story,

“THE BLOG” starring Steve McQueen.”

I took the above picture of Steve McQueen and Don Gordon just before we started out on one of our motorcycle rides. This was not too long after the movie Bullitt came out. Don Gordon, shown on the left, played Steve McQueen’s police partner in Bullitt.

One way to pick up a few minutes of fame in Hollywood back in the 60s, was to get yourself a big motorcycle with lots of shiny chrome. Then, park it out front of the famous Whiskey A-Go-Go and just sit on it. It was even better if you could get one of the Whiskey Go Go girls to sit behind you, high up on the back. This was the personification of “hip” and the big kick-start for the popularity of ordinary (instead of ornery) folks riding “bikes.” Back in the 50s, the perception of the people who rode motorcycles was created right out of Marlon Brando’s “The Wild One.” Scruffy, mostly imbecilic gangs, that rode into town on their “hogs” to rape all the women and destroy the town square (pun intended); a seedy bunch that no self-respecting citizen would ever want to emulate.

1963’s “The Great Escape,” starring Steve McQueen, was a turning point. One mighty leap over that prison wall and the Hollywood crowd jumped right along. Everyone wanted to be Steve McQueen.

I’m not ashamed to admit that I was a member of the “Hollywood Angels.” We were a rather close-knit group. I bought my beautiful blue-tanked chrome-trimmed 1965 Triumph Bonneville from celebrity bike dealer and movie stunt coordinator Bud Ekins. Bud was the stunt person who actually made the “The Great Escape” jump and was a close friend of McQueen. Not too many people were aware of this, but Steve was actually a championship motorcycle off-road racer himself. Because of studio insurance concerns, he raced with Bud Ekins’s 6-man All-American team and competed in the International Six Days Trial in Germany under the pseudonym of Harvey Mushman.

My good friend and neighbor, actor Don Gordon, introduced me to Steve. Besides playing Steve’s cop partner in Bullitt Don also had a starring role next to Steve in Papillon. Don invited me to visit the Bullitt set in San Francisco and that’s where I met Steve McQueen.

At the time, I was living on Mulholland drive, high up in the Hollywood Hills. Mulholland’s sweeping deadman curves went for miles above Los Angeles and presented a great challenge for a motorcyclist like Steve.

One Evening, Steve and Don Gordon showed up at my door. They wanted to know if I could come out and play. It was as if I was 10 years old again and my pals were asking me to come out and play ball or catch lightning bugs or something. There would be no ball game tonight though. They had their bikes parked at my front curb and I was out the door in a shot.

What a night to remember. We rode high above the sparkling lights of Hollywood all the way to Latigo Canyon, which led us down to the Pacific Coast highway and soon we were cruising along accompanied by the beautiful sound of muted mufflers and pounding surf bouncing off the sandy Santa Monica beaches. No one said a word. It was a warm breezy moon-bright night; filled with the wind-in-your-face joy only a lover of motorcycles could possibly understand.

In Malibu, hunger started to kick in, and we turned in to the first restaurant we saw.

The tantalizing aroma of burgers cooking and onions frying filled the air; a scene typical of any hamburger joint you might encounter anywhere in the USA. Packed tightly with young people having a good time, no one bothered to look up as we chose a booth in the back of the room. However, after we sat down and ordered, I could faintly recognize what sounded like my name coming through the drone of the many conversations in the room. You know how you can make out certain words in other people’s conversations? Kind of like, “YadayadaLloydyadayadaThaxtonyada?” I followed the sound to a group of five teen-age boys sitting in a booth across the room.

Sure enough, a few minutes later, one of the boys got up and shyly approached our table. He carefully put down five torn-off pieces of paper on the table and asked, “Lloyd, could you sign these for me and my buddies?”

He never once looked over or acknowledged that Steve McQueen was sitting directly across from me. I signed my name to each paper. He thanked me and went back to his friends.

A few minutes later, I once again started to recognize familiar words. And, again I traced them coming from the same teen-ager’s booth. This time it was, “YadayadayadaSteve yadaMcQueenyada.” It wasn’t long until the same volunteer came back to our table and stood facing me while he laid down four new pieces of paper. He then politely asked, “Lloyd, could you please ask Mr. McQueen if he would give us his autograph?”

Why didn’t the teen-ager just ask Steve for his autograph like he had asked me? And, why did he call me “Lloyd,” while referring to Steve as, “Mr. McQueen?”

What we had here was one layer of celebrity being peeled off to expose the bigger layer. Steve McQueen, you see, was bigger than life. The Teen-ager saw Steve up there, 20 feet tall, on that huge movie screen. I, on the other hand, came right into his living room each day on his family’s small, more intimate, television screen. I was more like a good friend. I was his good buddy “Lloyd.” Steve was, well, “Mister McQueen.”

When the young man left and went back to his excited friends, neither Steve nor myself ever discussed what just took place. It was as if it was a most natural occurrence; something that might happen to anybody just sitting around having a burger and fries. Our previously interrupted conversation just picked up without missing a beat. We finished our burgers, got back on our bikes and rode off into the sunset. Sunset Boulevard.

Steve McQueen was one of the nicest guys I had ever met in Hollywood. He treated everyone with great respect. However, he always knew who and what he was. A few years after this ride-for-burgers outing, I was invited to an afternoon pool party at Steve’s beautiful home nestled in a rustic canyon off Sunset Blvd. His co-star in the film “The Sand Pebbles,” Sir Richard Attenborough, was in town and Steve was hosting a party to introduce him to his friends. At one point in the afternoon Steve asked if I would like to see a new bike he had just purchased (by this time his collection included over a hundred and fifty new and antique motorcycles).

As we were looking at his fantastic new toy, I asked, “Are you still a member of the International off-road racing team?” He answered, with genuine sincerity, “No, that’s all behind me. From now on I’m going to concentrate on being a movie star.” Notice he didn’t say, movie “actor.” Though he was a remarkable actor, he knew he was more than that. He knew he was a star. He knew he was … Mister McQueen.

Stay tuned.

ANOTHER HEINOUS MURDERER BROUGHT TO JUSTICE

2007-02-13T14:55:00.000-08:00

All the above thirteen heinous killers have been brought to justice by Inspector Thomlason on Mansion of Mystery. It is now time to close another case ("Statue of Death") and award our winners. If you have just tuned in, scroll down to the next blog and read part one. Then scroll back up for part two ...

The commercial is over. The "ONE THE AIR" sign just went on

Quiet in the studio please.

ANNOUNCER

And now back to our mystery.

INSPECTOR

Well, Beanary, you say you saw Rosewell throw the statue down the ravine and later found it the dark because of the sparks it made on the way down?

BEANARY

Right!

INSPECTOR

That’s a lie Beanary. You couldn’t possibly see that bronze statue falling in the dark.

BEANARY

I said I saw the sparks as the statue hit the rocks. I just followed the sparks and found the statue.

INSPECTOR

What Sparks Beanary. Bronze doesn’t give off sparks as it strikes hard objects.

BEANARY

Oh Oh!

INSPECTOR

Beanary. You killed your wife.

BEANARY

You’ll never take me alive …

SOUND: RUNNING

INSPECTOR

No Beanary! Come back!

SOUND: PLATE GLASS BREAKING – A FADING SCREAM – SOUND OF BODY BOUNCING OFF ROCKS

INSPECTOR

He fell down the ravine.

ROSEWELL

Poor chap.

INSPECTOR

Well, Rosewell, there’s no use you hanging around any longer.

ROSEWELL

Thank you Inspector.

INSPECTOR

By the way, Rosewell. Did you notice?

ROSEWELL

Notice what, Inspector?

INSPECTOR

Beanary didn’t spark either.

SOUND: MUSIC STING

Lights up please.

We have two winners. A lot of cliquers actually got it. But, as I had announced, only the first one and one other, picked at random, are the winners. Here are their Posts:

(1)

arthur said…

Hi Lloyd,

Mr. Beanary did the Murder. Anyone knows bronze does NOT SPARK so Mr. Beanary COULD NOT have seen the satuette go down the hill in the dark, so Mr. Beanary MUST have thrown the statuette HIMSELF!!

Thanks for the blog, Art

(random)

willowtree said…

My guess is that the husband did it because he’s lying about the statue. Bronze, being a softer alloy would not have given off sparks.

ARE THESE CLIQUERS SMART OR WHAT?

Arthur and Willowtree win personally signed copies of "STUFF HAPpENS and then you fix it."

In order to deliver your prize, Art and Willowtree, I need your mailing address. Send it to me in an email to Lloyd@stuffhappens.net and I will get your book out to you ... pronto.

Thanks to all who entered the contest. Though I have 128 more episodes that didn't make the blog cut, I am saving them for broadcast. They are SOOOOOOOOOO much better when you can listen to them.

Are we having fun yet?

Stay tuned.

EXTRA - EXTRA - EXTRA - LAST DAY FOR MYSTERY CONTEST

2007-02-12T15:47:00.000-08:00

ALERT THE MEDIA

One more day for Mansion of Mystery. One more day to get the clue, solve the crime and possibly win the prize. Tomorrow, I will run the second part of the Statue of Death episode and announce the winners. HOORAY!!!!!!

This will be the last time the series will be on my blog. Running the three episodes has created an interest from a New York production company that wants to possibly put the series back on the air. It works much better as a radio show anyway. However, if all 131 episodes do get back on the air (after almost 40 years off), I will have this blog and your loyalty to it to thank. Ain't life interesting?

OK, one last attempt at Statue of Death." May the best sleuth win!

THE MANSION OF MYSTERY'S MOTHER OF ALL CONTESTS

2007-02-07T18:07:00.000-08:00

Here's a little contest to see if all you CSI-bred TV sleuths are as good at solving crimes as you think you are. If you just tuned in to the blog, I created a radio show back in the 70s titled Mansion of Mystery. Two minutes of the mystery, a break, and then, solving of the crime. I've posted two of these mysteries already. However, I also posted the solution. This time you are only going to run the first part; the crime itself with a hidden clue.

The first person to post a comment with the correct clue leading to the solution of the crime will win a personally signed copy of my book "Stuff Happens."

I will also award a signed copy of the book to another clue solver. Who that will be is a mystery in itself. I will be a random selection from the list of posts. So if you think that someone else got the clue, you could still win.

May the best sleuth win.

ANNOUNCER

It’s time for Mansion of Mystery

SOUND: HERNIATED WOLF HOWL

Time for another hideous crime that you the listeners are invited to solve. The clues, though not always apparent, are there. To find them you must listen very carefully. Today we present, “The Statue of Death.”

SOUND: THUNDER

The scene is the stately mansion of the industrial giant Horley Beanary. Mr. Beanary’s wife is lying dead on the richly appointed bedroom floor. Standing around the body are three people. Horley Beanary, Teddy Rosewell, Horley’s business partner, and Inspector Thomlason of the homicide division of the Newporter Police Department. Inspector Thomlason speaks.

INSPECTOR

All right Mr. Beanary. I know this is a difficult moment for you, but would you tell me what you know about this dreadful crime.

BEANARY

Well, all the lights were out in the house last night when I heard a scuffling. I jumped out of bed to investigate and saw someone dash from my wife’s room and race down stairs.

INSPECTOR

What did you do, Beanary?

BEANARY

Well, I gave chase. This vicious intruder ran onto the back porch where we keep a light burning and in the light, I recognized Teddy Rosewell here. He was the one running.

ROSEWELL

That’s a lie!

INSPECTOR

Quiet Mr. Rosewell. Continue Beanary.

BEANARY

Rosewell ran and he threw something away. It struck several times on the rocky slopes in the ravine, marking its path in the darkness with a series of little sparks.

INSPECTOR

Well, Mr. Rosewell. It looks like you’re in a lot of trouble. Mr. Beanary was able to lead us right to the spot of the dropped object and we found this bronze statuette. The blood and the hair found on the base match Mrs. Beanary’s and we found one good print of your forefinger near the top.

ROSEWELL

Wait a minute. I wasn’t even near the house last night. I stayed in my apartment all night. As for the fingerprints, well, I’ve touched that statuette many times while visiting the Beanary’s. I’m innocent I tell you. I’m innocent. I’m innocent …I'M INNOCENT!

INSPECTOR

Calm down Rosewell. Be a man. Actually you’re both suspects. My problem is to find out whose story holds up. Who’s telling the truth; because the one who is lying killed Mrs. Beanary.

SOUND: THUNDER

ANNOUNCER

Well sleuths. Did Beanary really see Rosewell throw the statue down the ravine? Is Rosewell’s fingerprint on the statue just an innocent coincidence? Which one is lying? We’ll help you with the solution in our next posting.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
BREAK
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Go to work sleuths

Remember your answer must be posted in the comment section. Do not email me directly. Not fair.

Turn over your papers and begin.

Stay tuned

BROADCASTING ON A WING AND A PRAYER

2007-01-30T21:29:00.000-08:00

Over the last few years, I’ve done a lot of radio. I don’t mean my own shows, I mean as a guest. When my book “Stuff Happens” came out in 2003 I did the usual book tour and was asked to appear on many radio shows. Because I am somewhat of an “oldie” myself, I can safely say that most of my appearances (Can it be called “appearances” on radio?) were on Oldies stations. It was a lot of fun to get back on the airwaves.

It was also kind of a revelation of sorts. In the process I discovered a brand new genre of radio broadcasting: “Internet Radio.” Anyone with a computer can now enjoy a whole new world of radio listening. I wonder if it is even correct to call it radio listening. There is no radio involved. You just click your mouse onto an Internet site and the programs come streaming right at you. Kind of reminds you of that other kind of radio, right? Turn the dial, hear the “click” and the programs come streaming right at you.

So what ‘s the difference?

I’ve recently given three interviews on Internet radio

(1) Rockit Radio’s The Memory Lane Show with Lane Quigley

(2) D.J. Blast with Blas, The Oldies Time Traveler, Vallejo

(3) Dave the Rave.

Over the years I’ve been the subject of hundreds of other radio interviews, but nothing I've done previously compares to the fun I’ve had doing these Internet radio shows. As the late Steve Allen might have said, “This could be the start of something big.”

So far all the Internet DJs I’ve met can be compared to those sports show experts that keep amazing you with their knowledge of the game, i.e., give a sports maven the name of a baseball player and like a savant, he/she will give you the player's batting averages and other statistics down to the amount of spikes on their shoes.

The Internet DJs are equally as uncanny in their knowledge of recorded music minutia. They are avid record collectors and can actually tell you the exact amount of grooves on any 45 rpm that has ever been recorded. Most important; they truly LOVE the MUSIC. They have to love it. They get paid zilch for equipment, studios, record collections and their time.

So what’s the difference?

It is the hours of great ENTERTAINMENT sans weather reports, newsbreaks, traffic warnings, or COMMERCIALS. It doesn’t sound like some producer in the back is pushing to keep the show on time in order to get all the ads in. And what is more important to me, the chatter is always all about THE MUSIC! Their selection of records is not chosen from corporate lists and allows the listener to hear tunes they had forgotten how much they liked.

In one of my past critiques on today’s Oldies Radio, I had suggested that a station try a Music/Talk format with call-ins from listeners to discuss the music being played and the artist being interviewed. The show I did with Dave the Rave was just that. We did four and a half hours of Music/Talk Radio LIVE!

Callers-in included Howard Kaylan of The Turtles, Mary Weiss of The Shangri-Las, Diane Renay (Navy Blue), Johnny Mirada of the Spokesmen, Tommy James of the Shondells, and Bob Miranda of The Happenings, plus fans from all over the United States. Dave the Rave was the perfect show host with a very loyal fan and record artist base. This is Oldies Radio at its most entertaining best.

Do you think there might possibly be something here that today’s tabletop stations (as apposed to desktop) can learn from all this? I hope so.

By the way; the answer to the “How many grooves are there on a 45 record” question is always the same, “1.” Just ONE groove that keeps going round and round until it reaches the end of the record (RIM SHOT - CYMBAL CRASH).

Stay tuned.

SHOULD THAT BE "STUFF HAPPENS" OR "SHIT HAPPENS?"

2007-01-20T21:21:00.000-08:00

On April 11, 2003 Donald Rumsfeld, when ask about the widespread looting in Baghdad, said, “STUFF HAPPENS. It’s untidy, and freedom’s untidy, and free people are free to make mistakes and commit crimes and do bad things.”

But, did you ever ask yourself what inspired Donald Rumsfeld to use the phrase, “Stuff happens” in the first place? I must make the point that the book “STUFF HAPPENS,” written by motivational speaker John Alston and myself was published and released to book stores February 14, 2003 almost two months before Rumsfeld made his “Stuff happens” remark.

Consequently, we like to think that he made the remark because he had read our book. We did send him a copy. Maybe if he hadn’t read the book, he would have said, “Shit happens” instead. We all know “Shit happens” is what he meant. And, you have to admit, at the time it would have been much more effective. Our book gave him a better idea. You think?

John and I actually finished writing the book just before 9/11 happened. Our literary agents didn’t want to take it to New York and present it to the many publishing houses at that time because they didn’t want to give the impression we had written it BECAUSE of 9/11. We held it back for almost a year. Perhaps if the title had been “SHIT HAPPENS” it would have been more apropos for what was actually happening.

Rumsfeld's comment also inspired David Hare to write his hit play about the war in Iraq. He named it “STUFF HAPPENS.” It stars Dick Cheney, Colin Powell, George W. Bush, Condoleezza Rice, and, yes, Donald Rumsfeld.

So, why did we name our book “STUFF HAPPENS” when everyone knew we meant “SHIT HAPPENS?”

Fact: at first we did name it “SHIT HAPPENS.” But people laughed every time we mentioned the title and we started to lose our nerve. Someone said that it sounded like a bumper sticker. After all, this is a serious “self-help” book. “STUFF HAPPENS” gives the reader 9 reality rules to live by in order to prepare them for bad stuff happening in their lives so they will be able to “Fix it.”

Reluctantly, we changed the title to “$#&@* Happens,” thinking the use of cartoon symbols for the objectionable S-word would soften the blow and convey the same message. Our first cover design also used a fertilizer bag with the suggestion, “Use It To Grow.”

The idea here was that $#&@* makes things grow. So if $#&@* happens to you, take advantage of it. Use it to make yourself grow and rid yourself of all that bad $#&@*. Very clever - if I do say so myself.

However, we ran into a snag right away (shit happened). Our publisher, the prestigious John Wiley and Sons in New York, had a problem with that approach. Matt Holt, our editor and wonderful mentor at Wiley, posed the question “How is a book store going to sell your book if the salesperson can’t even say the title, “$#&@* Happens?” How will you be able to promote it on radio using Asterisks? You can’t use the word “SHIT.” The station could possibly be fined.” Good points all around.

Even though Amazon.com lists thousands of books with “Shit” in the title, i.e., “How to Shit in the Woods: An Environmentally Sound Approach to a Lost Art,” by Kathleen Meyer, and “Up Shit Creek: A Collection of Horrifyingly True Wilderness Toilet Misadventures” by Joe Lindsay, we decided that Matt was right and we finally agreed to, “STUFF HAPPENS – and then you fix it.” After all, everybody knew exactly what we were saying anyway. Their design department came up with a winning cover and we were off and running.

Good stuff was happening. Jack Canfield, coauthor of “Chicken Soup for the Soul” (over 70 million copies sold) wrote the introduction in which he said “Every once in a while a book comes along that is both simple in its presentation and profound in its impact. This is such a book.”

“STUFF HAPPENS – and then you fix it” was indorsed by Jerry Lewis, Dick Clark, Film Director John Badham (Saturday Night Fever), James Brown (The Godfather of Soul), Mark Victor Hansen (“Chicken Soup for the Soul” and “The One Minute Millionaire”), and many other prominent and thoughtful people. They most likely would not have done the same for some little book titled “SHIT HAPPENS.”

Right after publication, and shortly after the war on terror began; we sent a first edition of “STUFF HAPPENS – and then you fix it” to George W. Bush. I don’t think he read it. At least, not the “and then you fix it” part. If he had, who knows what might have happened?

"STUFF HAPPENS - and then you fix it" is a damn (sorry) darn good book. According to testimonials, it has changed many lives for the better.

(CLICK HERE TO SEE THE BOOK)

However, I can’t help but think that it might have changed history if we had not changed our original title.

With Rumsfeld now out, we will probably never know.

History, as always, will be the judge.

Stay tuned.

AND THE GOLDEN GLOBE GOES TO ... THE GOLDEN GLOBES

2007-01-16T15:03:00.000-08:00

Monday night the Golden Globes Award Show held the winning hand. A full house with two Queens on top.

I liked this Show. Why? Because it was so honest. It never claimed to be a show. There was no comedian host with a lot of “in” jokes. There were no dance numbers, singers or dramatized interruptions. The purpose wasn’t to entertain the home audience. The purpose was to give out awards. And, let you watch.

It was in actuality a TV reality show; a bunch of people announcing and handing out awards to a bunch of other people. Followed by people thanking everyone for announcing and handing out awards. It showed you what really happens when you get a lot of movie and TV stars in the same room saying good things about each other. Being thankful that they were so lucky.

And, that’s why I liked it so much. This is why I tune into an awards show; to see who wins and how they handle it. Do they cry, gloat, joke, lose their memory or stumble and fall down the stairs? It’s live and anything can happen. Not a script in sight except, of course, for those little thank-you notes held so tightly in each winner’s hands. You can’t help but think of all the notes, still clutched in hands that never got read.

I liked this show because there were so many REAL celebrities. Hard working show folks having a good time. No celebrity wanabes. Paris Hilton was a noticeable no-show.

I also liked Helen Mirren winning for “The Queen.” What a class act she is. I wanted Kiefer Sutherland to win for “24,” but I was glad for “Ugly Betty.” She was so beautiful.

Warren Beatty went on a little too long but his expertise has never been public speaking. I liked him because he made great films and I liked his attitude. There are too many smooth talkers around anyway.

I was extremely happy when it was over. Not because it was over, but because it showed how nice show people can be.

Everyone was having a great time and I was there to see it.

Stay tuned.

I LOVE OSCAR

2007-01-13T15:56:00.000-08:00

Alert the media. The secret is out. I love Oscar. But, before you get all in a tither and start examining my sexual persuasion, I’m talking about Oscar, as in “The Oscar.”

Actually, I LOVE MOVIES. And, The Oscar is a symbol for the many people like me who enjoy sitting in dark theaters commingling among noisy people with coke and popcorn sticking to their shoes.

About a hundred years or so ago when I was just a little kid in Toledo, Ohio, there was a 200-hard-wooden-seat movie theater called the “Park.’ Even for a kid with short legs, it was just a hop, skip, and jump from my house on Berkley Drive to that wonderful lighted marquee (with most of the bulbs burned out). After viewing a cartoon, a newsreel (yesterday’s version of today’s TV news), a Flash Gordon serial, coming attractions, and two (count ‘em) features, I danced all the way home. Especially after seeing a Fred Astaire/Ginger Rogers movie.

If you are old enough to remember, they had those huge beautifully colored posters displayed in glass cases on each side of the entrance with the names of the currant movie’s luminaries (persons of eminence or brilliant achievement).

There was many a night that I dreamed of walking out of the Park Theater, turning and seeing my name on one of those posters. A kid from Toledo with his name on a Hollywood movie poster? Wow! I can’t begin to tell you how disappointed I was to awaken and find my sudden fame was only the impossible dream.

But, hark all you non-believers. Dreams do come true. They can happen to you. It happened to ME! It was the year 1964 and the movie was “The Patsy,” directed by, and starring Jerry Lewis.

It was the very first appearance I ever made in a movie. It was also the LAST appearance I ever made in a movie, but, to coin a popular phrase, “So What?” It was my dream and it came true. My acting ability was never ever considered for any kind of an award, but I shall always be beholden to Jerry for creating the part just for me. I was “Movie Star for a Day!”

That said, let’s get back to Oscar. This is the time of year when movie critics, and most of the movie-going nation, make their yearly predictions as to who is going to take home the big golden guy. That includes me, and I could safely guess, most of you Mouse Cliquers.

Here is my pick:

(1) Best Actress: Helen Mirren for “The Queen.”

Damn! She was good. Did you notice that, like the real Queen, she never went anywhere without her purse? Like a Queen needs a purse?

(2) Best Actor? Leonardo DiCaprio for “The Departed.”

Considering that almost everyone in the film was killed, the fact that Leonardo’s acting ability helped him survive long enough to star in “Blood Diamond” should give him a big leg up in the final vote.

(3) Best Picture: “The Queen”

That’s it for me. Though there are many deserving Oscars to be handed out, my feeling is that most people don’t really sit up straight until the Best Actor, Best Actress, and Best Movie awards are announced.

Two caveats regarding my choices:

As for “Borat,” the main character, as we all know, is not an actor but is the press representative for The Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan. That makes him ineligible for an Oscar. Don’t you agree?

I was disappointed that “Dream Girls,” supposedly based on what the 60s groups were all about, did not feature any music from the 60s. Perhaps I’m just too big a “Diana Ross and the Supremes” fan and was looking for a little “Baby Love.”

I do have one more award I would like to recommend. It’s too late for this year’s ceremony, but think about next year. Jerry Lewis should get a special Oscar. Not because he has written, directed or starred in over 50 feature films in his long and funny career, but the fact that he invented a device that totally revolutionized the way movies are made.

He came up with the idea of strapping a video camera to the side of the film camera so he could watch it on a monitor and not have to wait for the film to be developed in order to see what was being shot.

This is now known as “Video Assist.” No longer “strapped” to the side of the camera, the video feed goes directly through the film camera lens and is used by every director who makes films.

This suggestion of a special Oscar for Jerry’s contribution to films is my way of thanking him for making my little-kid starry-eyed Hollywood dream come true. Just last month, 43 years after the fact, I received a sort of thank you and recognition for my superior acting in “The Patsy.” It was a residual check from Paramount Pictures for $6.27. What do you say to that Toledo?

Stay tuned.

GOOGLE RULES!

2007-01-06T13:23:00.000-08:00

You can’t have missed reading about incoming house speaker Nancy Pelosi, who this month became the highest ranking elected woman in U.S. history. The Los Angeles Times did several front page stories on the celebrations in Washington designed to introduce Ms. Pelosi to the nation.

Because Nancy Pelosi is not as well known to the nation as she is in her representative state, California, the Times published her Bio.

“Nancy Patricia D'Alesandro Pelosi
Age: 66
Birthplace: Baltimore
Education: Bachelor’s degree, Trinity College in Washington D.C. 1962

The bio went on and on until it got to some really interesting stuff:

Favorite TV show: The Daily Show with Jon Stewart
Favorite culinary specialty: Chocolate mousse,
Google hits: More than 2 million,”

GOOGLE HITS!!?

And there it is. Proof positive that Google is now the Mother of all Who’s Who’s. You want to know how important someone is? Google them. You want to know how important you are? Google you!

Just in case you have been on another planet for the last 10 years and don’t know what “Google” is, here’s a quick overview. When a person’s name is used in a book, a movie, a newspaper, a blog, a congressional record, any written source that is mentioned on the Internet, it is stored in Google. All you have to do is Google that person’s name and Google will give you a list of their accomplishments. Common belief is that the longer the list, the more popular the person. It’s a kind of celebrity thermometer. A constantly changing gauge of who's hot and who’s not. Google is so popular today, I’m considering having a calling card printed with no web or email address, no street or phone numbers. Just the name, “Lloyd Thaxton” and the words, “Google me.”

I couldn’t help but Google Ms. Pelosi to double-check her “More than 2 million hits” claim. Actually it turned out to be 2,170,000. That information got me rolling. To see how our own Nancy Patricia D'Alesandro Pelosi stacked up to the competition, I started checking out other heavyweights for comparison..

I started with Paris Hilton. For some reason unknown to me, she seems to be the “Celebrity de Jour.” I found it awed (pun intended) that Ms. Hilton scored an incredible 52,300,000. But wait. This figure comes with a caveat. Paris Hilton, the celebrity, is lumped in with the Paris Hilton, the hotel. Having a hotel named after you (or vice-versa in her case) can help your score considerably.

Then I Googled another celeb in the news, Donald Trump. He came in with 2,090,000. With that figure he can really gloat over Rosie O’Donnell. She only got 1,670,000. However, take out the two major Trump real estate holdings and Donald drops to 1,745,000. That’s less than a difference of 100,000. With the Google numbers constantly changing every day, I wouldn’t bet on either one at a Donald Trump Casino.

Republicans will be glad to hear that President George W. Bush racked up a healthy 54,700, 000 to Hillary Clinton’s 4,240,000. However, Saddam Hussein wasn’t far behind Bush with 42,600,000. It remains to be seen if the news reports on his recent demise will keep him alive (Googly speaking, that is).

Being on a roll, I decided to check on the Father of our country, George Washington. As expected, he was the big winner so far with 229,000,000. But you have to consider how long he’s been doing his thing, getting a lot of parks, schools, bridges, libraries, streets, books, monuments and major athletes named after him.

Just as I was about to close my poll, I had an epiphany. I Googled … “GOOGLE!”

How about just under ONE BILLION???.

And you wondered why they gave themselves that silly name.

Before you ask, Britney Spears got 15,900,000.

And counting.

Stay tuned.

L. E. THAXTON MEETS D. J. BLAST

2007-01-02T14:25:00.000-08:00

Hey Mouse Cliquers. Want a treat? D. J. Blast, the Oldies Time Traveler is NOW PLAYING two hours of Lloyd Thaxton (that's me) on The Oldies Super Highway. I say, “Want a treat” because if you’ve never listened to the sound of the oldies on the Internet, you have a treat coming. You’ll hear stuff you remember from the past but NEVER hear on land-locked oldies radio.

I do a lot of talking, but it’s the music D. J. plays that’s the “Blast.” The real treat.

D. J. Blast, who in another life is the dashing Blas Vallejo (Zorro unmasked), has a collection of 60's hits that will astound everyone around. He spent two hours draining every bit of information from my soul until I finally had to say, “Stop! That’s it. Come back in another 40 years.”

If you want to hear "The Birds,” D. J. Blast!
The “Beach Boys?” D. J. Blast!
The “Rivingtons?” Yah! D. J. Blast!
The Beatles? Elvis Presley? The Angels? The Drifters? The Supremes? Gene Pitney? Peter Paul and Mary? The Mamas & the Papas, Johnny Rivers, and many more?

Click here: LLOYD MEETS D. J. BLAST

"MOM" SEASON (1) DISK (1) EPISODE (2)

2006-12-30T12:56:00.000-08:00

NEW EPISODE

My wife, Barbara, and I have just finished watching Season 5 of the gut-grinding show "24." We always wait until the complete series comes out on CD and watch all 24 one-hour episodes in just six evenings. It is very exciting, but, alas, now we will have to wait one year to see Season 6. In honor of this obsession, I am going to shorten the name of my series, "Mansion of Mystery" to "MOM" and break down each drama to Season, Disk and Episode. Even though I created this tongue-in-cheek mystery for Mobil Oil back in the 70s, it has not been heard on radio for over 30 years. It's a wonderful treat for me to have this blog so that I can at least share the radio scripts with you at this time.

The Mansion of Mystery series stars Inspector Thomlason, Sergeant Twilly Girthborne and 131 of the most heinous killers imaginable.

Remember, the idea is to find the clue and solve the crime before the commercial break ends.

ANNOUNCER

It’s time for Mansion of Mystery.

SOUND: WOLF WITH A HERNIA HOWLS

ANNOUNCER

Time for another hideous crime that you, the listener, are invited to solve. Today … the CASE of The MAD Doctor.

SOUND: THUNDER (VERY LOUD – WOLF RUNNING)

ANNOUNCER

The scene is the office of Dr. Leeland Quail, Optometrist. Outside Quail’s window, Raymond Lampson’s body lies in a pool of blood, killed by a blow to the head with a heavy object.

Inside the office, Inspector Thomlason, who is investigating this hideous crime, studies Dr. Quail, his equipment and eye chart.

The Inspector speaks.

INSPECTOR

You are an optometrist, Dr. Quail?

QUAIL

Yes...Now if you’ll just read the first line Mr. Thomlason.

INSPECTOR

I’m not here for an eye test Doctor. I’m investigating a murder.

QUAIL

I’m sorry Inspector, but I don’t have my glasses on. I didn’t recognize you.

INSPECTOR

You stated you saw the killer from your office window. Did you have your glasses on then, Dr. Quail?

QUAIL

No I didn’t, but that didn’t matter. I’m near sighted and I could see him quite well. He was across the street. It’s you I can’t see.

INSPECTOR

You stated that the victim had just left your office.

QUAIL

Yes, Inspector. He came in for a check on his post surgery progress.

INSPECTOR

Post surgery, Dr. Quail?

QUAIL

Yes, I’m quite proud of that. Up till a month ago he was blind. I removed cataracts from both eyes. Mr. Lampson is a very lucky man.

INSPECTOR

Mr. Lampson is dead, Dr. Quail.

QUAIL

Oh...right...so he is. Sorry about that.

INSPECTOR

Can you identify the assailant, Dr. Quail?

QUAIL

Oh my yes. Tall, about six feet one. Very thin. Bright red hair and a small goatee.

INSPECTOR

You’re describing yourself, Dr. Quail.

QUAIL

Oh my, how silly. I was looking in that mirror. What a silly slip.

INSPECTOR

Your psychiatrist would call it Freudian, Dr. Quail, Freudian. You have been less than truthful. That is reason enough for me to arrest you for...MURDER!

SOUND: VERY LOUD CLAP OF THUNDER

ANNOUNCER

Well sleuths, This time the INSPECTOR caught TWO clues. Did you? We’ll help you after this.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
COMMERCIAL BREAK

OK, stop scrolling and try and figure out the answer. Remember, there are TWO clues this time. If you aren't sure, scroll back up and read it again. When you think you have the answer, scroll down and enjoy the ending.

Then let me know if you got it and how. This is the honor system. I'm really interested in how easy or hard these suckers are.

Next time, I'm going to leave the answer out and you'll be on your own.

Tick ... Tick ... Tick ... Tick ... Tick ... Tock!

You're time is UP!

--------------------------------------------------

ANNOUNCER

And now back to our mystery.

QUAIL

Just read the top line Mr. Thomlason.

INSPECTOR

Will you stop that nonsense? You are under arrest.

QUAIL

Oh I am so confused.

INSPECTOR

You made two mistakes Doctor. You said you were near sighted but could see perfectly clear far away without your glasses. A real optometrist would know it is just the opposite.

QUAIL

I’m far sighted?

INSPECTOR

You also said you removed cataracts from Lampson’s eyes. Optometrists are not surgeons. They only prescribe glasses. It was you who hit Mr. Lampson over the head.

QUAIL

Is he upset?

INSPECTOR

He is dead, Dr. Quail. D - E - A – D !

QUAIL

That’s not correct Mr. Thomlason. You definitely need glasses.

INSPECTOR

Will you stop that, please? I’m not reading the eye chart. I’m accusing you of murder.

QUAIL

But he found out I wasn’t a real optometrist. He recognized me. He remembered.

INSPECTOR

Remembered what, Dr. Quail?

QUAIL

I almost killed Mr. Lampson twenty years ago.

INSPECTOR

Twenty years ago?

QUAIL

I was a traveling salesman then. I sold him a bottle of youth pills, absolutely guaranteed to make him ten years younger.

INSPECTOR

And they almost killed him?

QUAIL

He was only nine.

SOUND: MUSICAL STING

--------------THE END--------------

To quote from the book, STUFF HAPPENS-AND THEN YOU FIX IT," Some get it. Some don't. Some will. Some won't. Those that do, do. Those that don't, don't.

Did YOU get it?

Want more?

Stay tuned.

The Godfather of Soul is Dead. Long Live The Godfather of Soul

2006-12-25T11:32:00.000-08:00

It’s hard to believe that James Brown is gone. It is even harder to believe that he was 73 years old. It seems like only yesterday (do I hear Paul McCartney singing in the background?) that he jumped on to my TV stage and with just one whirl of his magic cape, turned the world on its dancin’ feet. I’m indebted to that guy. He gave my book “Stuff Happens,” the ultimate James Brown compliment, “This book has a lot of soul.”

I first met James Brown at one of his sold-out concerts in the early 60s. As far as I could see, I was the only white person in the audience. But, no one was looking at me. All eyes were up there on the stage watching future magic in the making. He certainly added magic to The Lloyd Thaxton Show.

Years later, while walking down the halls of NBC, I passed the Johnny Carson stage door. A band was rehearsing for that night’s show. The sound was unmistakable. It was the sound that only James Brown could convey. I walked on stage and, sure enough, there he was rehearsing in front of the band. When he saw me, he stopped mid-note, ran over and gave me a big hug. I felt good.

Then, one day I came home and found this message on my answering machine, “Lloyd Thaxton. This is James Brown, the Godfather of Soul. God bless you. Good-bye.”

That other Godfather has a real treat in store.